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The dying woman, the baby goat, and being a helper

2/27/2022

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Today I was conversing with a friend, about her helping a neighbor who was a hoarder, and ill from RA, and was very mean and nasty to her neighbors. She had become toxic, alcoholic, but now was so sick that she needed help.
My friend was iffy about helping her, because of the history of grief that she had caused. but I had a similar experience with a neighbor when I lived in the Oakland hills.

My story, though, is really about "who are the helpers", and "who asks for help", and the circle of being of service to spirit.
​We all are, in some way, and that world exists simultaneously to this one.
​And we get help as well.

While living in the Oakland hills, a couple of decades ago, hanging out in my backyard:
At one point, I noticed my neighbor wasn't out on her back deck lately, where she would normally be drunk and saying mean stuff. I did see another woman, though out there, and she waved at me.

I found out it was her nurse. She said that she had been ill for some time, and was now in her home, in  hospice. 
She said that the woman loved to see the goats I had (mostly one, and she would  have babies the spring. Her deck looked out over the fenced in area where the goats lived.
My goat had just had babies, and the nurse said the woman was excited about it.
So I asked if I could visit her for a minute.
I scooped up one of the newborn goats (so soft!) and headed to her house.
Let me remind you that this woman had been mean to me and the other roommates for  a decade or more. I think after her husband died,  she became sad, and angry and drunk and a little nuts.
But I brought the baby goat over and the nurse let me in the house, and to the hospital bed. 
I don't know if she could really see anymore, but heard the nurse explain what was happening, and who I was. 
I leaned into her and put the tiny hoof of the baby goat in her hand so she could feel it, and the softness of its fur.
She really couldn't talk, but she cried, and it was really beautiful.
I said goodbye and left.
The woman died a day or two later.
I knew that a lot of her resentment, anger, and despair drained out, and that a happier woman died and crossed over.
At that point, I had just dropped all the story, because she was dying. Because of the kind things the nurse said.
So, I think that I got a healing too, and could just let all that story go.
I guess the moral of the story is that people have trauma in their lives, and they twist and contort and become sick, and spew their sickness onto others, onto their houses, into their bones, and they do stupid things.
​And, they have a soft heart inside there, somewhere, that got very hurt.

Or, the moral of the story is that baby goats legs are incredibly soft, and are quite healing!
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At some point, and on some level, we are all interconnected; there is not separation.
We may contract our energies to that field but it is always there.
It is always here.
I was needed to show up, to help that woman melt off some of the denseness of her life. Grieving her husbands loss, drinking, and filled with fear and loathing of the outside world. And yet, there were these goat babies with their furry new legs, sweet and innocent, that she could see from her back porch.
It wan’t about me at all, but my forgiveness and being sacred witness was a part of her moving on.
And when I need help, people show up in the strangest and most graceful ways.
Either to show me something, or point me in a direction, to remind me of my strengths, my gifts, or the sacred magic in the world.
 Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a spirit guide in a next life, or, in between.
How fun, and rewarding to help someone or keep them safe, and on their path.
But how excruciating, to witness their choices, and free will, when it goes in other directions. To stand back.
I imagine how fantastic the internet is for communications and instant delivery of it, and how it is similar in the spirit world.
In an almost comical way, I imagined it this morning, because I looked out my kitchen window while making my morning coffee, and there was this black rabbit near my house.
I mused as to its owner, maybe a sad child in the neighborhood.
imagining the prayers to the mighty ones, and somewhere there was a switchboard operator, delegating the prayer to a spirit guide for help.
“Yes there are prayers to Archangel Michael by the family, but there’s an accident on the freeway nearby, and he is needed there.
He can’t be chasing down a child’s pet. Let’s get the guardian angel on board, as well as the house elf and land fairies of the yard on the block that is a designated safe place for animals.
We’ll check back and see what Michael wants to do, and sign it off.”
“When is lunch break?”

The rabbit unfortunately died in the front yard, and I sang a song to it, and reminded it of her wonderful life and the good things. I realized when I posted it on Next Door that others had helped this bunny also. Thank you for your kindness.
Thank you for showing up.
​
How do you show up in the field?
​What stories do you have to tell?
How does spirit place you in the right place at the right time to be of sacred service?
And, is it the dashing, important stuff (where you get to be hero, or show your talents and great wisdom), or is it the simple passing on of grace, of transformational light?
Do you work without telling others?
​The invisible helper?
​
Sometimes I think that I have to have my own life together and be in a place of centered perfection for it to happen, to be part of the chain, but alas, that is usually not the case.

For some reason, helping small wild animals, and also spirits that got stuck or lost seems to be my task right now, as is nudging a persons spirit into center, into their own information and path. I do nothing but a slight nudge, at the right time, and the wheels get back on the track.

Not very glamorous, but very needed. That hello, or neutral acknowledgement has also saved me, enlightened me, and helped mold me into who I came here to be. I thank all of those angels in human form, and those without any form for that.
 I can’t believe how people show up in my path to get a reading, or a shamanic session, or sometimes just a conversation at a coffee shop.

How did this meeting come about? Who set this up?

I do hope, as you go about your day, after you read this, that you remember to turn on your “available” beacon for those who need an angel. You can always turn it down, if you need to.

Sometimes, when it is you who needs the healing, or attunement, that is exactly what happens. Spirit sets you up to help someone else.



                               copyright@HelenaMazzariello/Spiritinjoy2022




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The Care and Feeding of your Shadow Self

2/10/2022

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 Some of the most powerful forms of light work you can do for yourself is shadow work.
I know so many healers, psychics, shamans, and light workers. The most powerful, and effectual are those who are annealed by their experiences, by their successes and failures both. Their pain, and their light help others to allow their own fullness, their own realness. And by being in what is, healing happens.
I think we have all heard the phrase "spiritual bypassing", where one only looks at the light and love, and denies anything else. It gives power to what is repressed, and doesn't help anyone else. That's why I wanted to share some tips and explain a bit, because that space can be spring loaded at worst, and ineffectual at best.

Here are some simple ways to do acknowledge, be curious, own, understand, accept and transcend some of the darker parts of yourself.
We are made of both light and dark aspects, and refusing one and acknowledging one just adds fuel to the one resisted, and that fuel gives it more power.
Your shadow self is nothing to be afraid of, as it is a part of you.
It usually gets created in childhood.
We were born whole, and complete, but from various interactions with parents, or caretakers, we discern that certain parts of ourselves are not ok. They may say it to us, or, we may come to that conclusion on our own.
We believe that some parts are good, and some parts are bad. And we reject what we think is bad. We submerge it, but that only gives it more power. We repress what we think is bad, while we exaggerate what we think is good. We disown what we think (or was told) is bad.
And that part becomes the shadow, and it is unconscious. And it can "run" our lightworker program in an insidious manner.

 The terms shadow, subconscious, and unconscious were brought by Carl Jung to the Western World, and his works on describing, understanding, and re integrating the shadow are priceless, and highly recommended. These are parts that are disowned, and that the ego fails to see.
They don't leave, but leave awareness, and live in the subconscious mind, where they grow in power.
They can and will affect everything you do, and comes out (to your conscious awareness) in the form of unconscious and limiting beliefs.

          "Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior" ~ Carl Jung

It could be a sensitive boy told by his father to stop crying and "man up". He may stuff that part of himself and put up a wall of tough, which appeases his father, but the sensitive comes out in inappropriate times, or he may have trouble showing emotions when that is appropriate and healthy. He may have trouble in relationships, or have explosions of overemotional behavior. 
It could be a young girl with a lot of boundless energy, and strong emotions who has a strong sense of self. Perhaps her anger is disowned, and told it was wrong or not ok to express. Perhaps she deduced that on her own.
If these are our main caretakers, we want to do what pleases them, and express more of what is validated.
Perhaps she represses her anger, but also her healthy, righteous anger. Her demure quality, and people pleasing gets her by, but she loses a lot of her power and life force.
When we repress because we are afraid of what other people will think of us, it starts to live in the realm of the subconscious. 
We think conscious = light, and hidden = darkness. And we assume the darkness is bad.
There are talents, gifts, and a lot of power locked in to the shadow. It will help you to understand yourself, to make peace with yourself, and live a whole and balanced life. You are both.
And if we are healers, or caregivers, it makes us more equipped to hold space for another, in their wholeness.

We create a "split" when we dissociate. it can take over when we get triggered. We may not give it very much power, but it is powerful, and can cause a lot of grief, turn things upside down and disrupt many relationships.

Have you ever seen someone flip? Someone who's is normally cool and collected acts psychotic, overly dramatic, and rageful, because of some trigger? 
 Usually, if you become conscious of your parts, your shadow, and also your triggers, it can come up through you. If it stays unconscious, and stays charged up, disowned and potent, it may come at you, unexpected, in the form of a crisis, or another persons actions.
Yes, your disowned shadow parts can show itself in the form of another person.

That's one of the first ways to check yourself, and understand yourself a bit more.
How to spot the shadow in you:
​
Projections

Triggers

Patterns

Your shadow wants you to become aware of it, and to be accepted.
Just focusing on the light will not make it go away.
Understanding it (you), making peace with it, and integrating it into your life, including the gifts, talents and power that it holds.

It is simply to uncover what was hidden, and slowly healing those aspects of yourself.
Bringing back that power from the hidden depths.
It won't take years, but it is a commitment to your self, only you can do it, and it will help you to become whole.
It may bring up old childhood wounding as you do, but it will show you a whole other side of you. And bringing the hidden, disowned to light helps bring awareness, to something that is a part of you. 


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When you surrender to what "is" and so become fully present, the past ceases to have any power. You don't need it anymore. Presence is the key. The now is the key ~ Eckhart Tolle

Some ways that you can begin:
Review your childhood
Become aware of your shadow
Don't shame it
Use your triggers
observe without judgement
Make peace with your shadow, so you can find peace
It is the highest form of light work you can do. 


Notice, be curious, be committed.
​
We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are. ~ Anais Nin

Meditations and shamanic journeying on this are exceptional in shadow work. Have dialogue, ask what gifts are there as well, in this shadow part. Take back your power.
Know that space of wholeness.
Lightworkers, your clients will thank you as well, for as you become more whole, you allow them that space too. Your world will shift, and the world outside of you will too. 
Gentle blessings, my friend.
The Youtube video is good. If you like that, you'll also like Parts work, in IFS (internal Family Systems), by Richard Schwartz. I share his links on my newsletter, or find his talks on Youtube also. In his work, the parts of us we disown are called "Exiles". Here's more ...   https://youtu.be/UNtussFaYC0
Here is to your wholeness! I see you!
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    Helena Mazzariello is an artist, clairvoyant, healer, and teacher, in gratitude and joy to be playing the game of life with her friends.

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