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Reinventing yourself, and that liminal space

9/1/2021

As I am in my own process of reinventing myself, it seems like I can see so many others around me who are also. That seems to be the questions asked to me frequently in the many readings that I do also. Coincidence? I think not.

I’d like to talk about the uncomfortable (usually) place in between those worlds, that liminal place.

You don’t quite fit in to the old world, as your brain, your mind, your heart are changing, lightening up, even if you are a bit dragging the pieces of the old world with you. Not the beautiful parts, the worthy parts or memories you wish to keep in your heart, or the good habits and completions and friendships that give you fortitude, but the old trauma responses, the limiting beliefs, and yes, sometimes those friendships or relationships that mirrored or even attracted them.

What I have noticed, is that when the Phoenix fire, or the determined anger fuel that gave you energy to make the first changes starts to die down, or relax, or go into the background, you may notice the uncomfortable silence.

You may feel alone. There can be a drop of energy, and it may feel like you lose momentum. Pain may start to seep in, and it may be different than the adrenaline fueled place of the Phoenix, especially when you have already made the move, broken off the relationship, or taken a big step out of your past, voluntarily or otherwise.

This is especially true for people leaving an abusive relationship, or habit.
I see that staying in those still places, being in the silence and just breathing consciously can really help. Long out breaths. Being in nature, the sounds of nature, the long horizontal landscapes of water, or the sound of your feet crunching the redwood or pine needles, can help you. Simple mono tasking, quiet time, can help to reset you.

Don’t be afraid of this unfamiliar liminal space. It is a resting place along the way, where body can catch up to spirit.
There is no fire here pushing you forward, no intensity.

Slowly set about bringing more light into your space. It will help you on your journey, especially when you need it. Your energetic field is morphing, and changing, and it is like a little death.

Trusting is key. Trust in spirit. Trust in your own spirit, that knows so much more than your logical mind, which wants guarantees about the future. Your energy field is changing in this liminal phase to help you take your next step, as your new change settles into your bones, and cells, and the places in between your cells.

Remember, too, that in your chrysalis, you are not alone. Spirit will bring you friends with their own stories to help you on your way. Your story will help others, even if your story is messy, and imperfect.
The more your energy field quietly changes, like the yeast rising a bread, the easier your sojourn, and the more complete.
Write affirmations for yourself, and post them in places you can see daily, and in places that surprise you.
Sometimes, keeping a journal, can help validate those changes, and keep your affirmations, your new way of seeing your life and the world.
Because that is what is starting to happen. Your new world was built upon the old, and there is foundation there.
Let part of your foundation include stellar new boundaries.
Spoken.
Demonstrated.
Let part of your foundation include forgiveness. Even leaning in to forgiveness. Praying for, or seeing them whole and well. Don’t take that old stuff with you, the old stories.
Better boundaries, learned lessons, and let go of the rest.
Remember to include yourself, your old self, in that equation.
See your old self in that light, in its best light, and let go of some of the stories, to prove how right you were.

You are going somewhere else.

Reframing, including the words you use, can help your Phoenix transformation, when the fire has gone to ashes, and it is just you.
I don’t mean denial, I mean a conscious knowledge, a spirits compassion, and an eye on the prize of your reinvention.

Travel lightly, but think big, and see yourself in your best light.
Travel lightly, and take yourself lightly.
Resist others that urge to DO something, and allow the changes to occur in their own time. This is a temporary phase, but important.

A bumblebee, technically, scientifically, should not be able to fly.
It is simply too big and bulky, for those small wings, which vibrate at a slower rate than what could raise it off the ground and into the air. And yet it does. Everyday.

Your transformation and reinvention is an inside job, no one can do it for you. Let the silence help you, but also the strength and stories of friends and family, and colleagues, heroes and heroines in everyday life. Listen. Ask for help. Tell your story to others, even if incomplete.
There is a medicine in that. Ask spirit to give you that friend, or inspiration, or chance to help, daily.
You are reinventing, and it is not all fire and explosion of you the Phoenix. The heat is in the coals, protected by the ashes, and it is quiet now, in this liminal space.

@copyrighthelenamazzariello/spiritinjoy2021

2 Comments

Being of service...the work

8/9/2021

8 Comments

Where are you being called to be of service?
Is the Supreme Being asking for your help, and are you aware of it?
Is that what meditation is? Or prayer?
There is a place where it all gets muddy, when you add in your ego, your fears and limits, perceived and otherwise, and also other people's demands.Whether it is a deep Soul remembrance, a knowingness of what needs doing, or simply a willingness to show up in life, a sort of spiritual "surprise me".

What I lack in expertise and experience, I make up for in willingness to learn, a tempered enthusiasm, and perhaps The Fools persistence.
And lots of love for others, and for the world.

Listening to the sound of my cat snoring as I write this brings me joy.
He is taking his next step, at 16 years old. He has been like a child to me and Terry, and also a teacher on unconditional love, and gentleness.
He sleeps almost on my face, with his fangs dug into my cheek, and purrs so loud, even if you just glance over at him.
He has helped Terry in his dying process, not leaving his side, and purring constantly, in the fast couple of weeks until Terry's death.
Two days before my partner died, and while in active transition, Kramer wouldn't go in the room, just stayed at the end of the hallway. I could feel the energy shifting in the entire house, as stuff got real. Other people felt it too.
I think his mom showed up in spirit (besides others who loved him, and the psychopomp ancestors) and his mom didn't like cats.
After Terry's death, Kramer just loved me so much, he was like a prescription for pain relief, peace, and light.
And, almost a year later, after helping me grieve the worst, it is now Kramers turn.
And so I am administering morphine to him, just as I did Terry, and singing how much I love him.

Not taking in water anymore, seems to be a big turning point in this process. And water is life.
And I am doing just what I am supposed to be doing. Which is what this article is about.

I mean, I love my work as a psychic, and counselor, shamanic practitioner, and teacher. And I love lifting the light quotient on the planet, creating beauty, witnessing it. Doing what you love. and doing what needs to be done.
What is it that you do, from a place of knowing?
Not wishing, wanting, habit, security, but from a soul knowing. You know that is the plan.
Yes, that is what this writing is about; that once you know, you get out of any effort about it. It seems that you have the wind and the elements, and invisible forces behind you, making it simple, and elegant.
Even if your task is to go up against the powers that be, the snarky cheerleaders, the bullies, and abusers? Even if there is a backlash, and you know there will be one? Even if what you know you must do will have a cost, a price to pay, or will change you? Even if there were easier pathways? Even if no one will know that it was you, and your work remains anonymous?
Or if you are really, really good at something else?

So, how do you know what that is?
What things in your life have you done, or shown up for, because you just knew?
Perhaps you even surprised yourself?
Is it through dreams, prayer or meditation? Does the universe have a hand in your synchronicities? Your guides and angels? And yet it is you who must take the plunge.

Many times I have just shown up to help someone, it was a knowingness. Or, a labor of love.
Sometimes it manifested as being selfish, assertive, to get that job, that part, to be there, at this time, now.
What was it for you?

And yet, sometimes I wonder if we are unconscious to the great and majestic dance of synchronicity of our universe (multiverse) and we are all the hive mind, working in some great unison, like a chorus, or an orchestra, or a well oiled machine.
What made you move here, and not there? Help this one but not that one? Take that class at that particular time, or that job, or that friend or partner?
Is there some kind of cosmic meeting somewhere, where they figure all this stuff out precisely?

Well, whatever the answer is, I sense it very loudly lately. And yet, I am in Grace, and humility about it at this point.
So my amazing cat Kramer will take his last sweet breaths with my love, and some morphine, and I sense Terry showing up now to help him cross over.
And, my friends came over to support me, and helped me dig a grave, and taught me about helping pets cross, and the beautiful, and sweet tributes that you can do for his final resting spot in the yard. They are truly angels in human form, and have given me support with Terry's passing as well, and I have been taught well how to return the favor.

And as sad as I will be about it, as they have, and this has all taught me so much about the different worlds, and why we do what we do. Perhaps from afar, we all appear a just a grid pattern of dots of light around our beautiful earth, helping her ascend, by just being, and showing up, even if we didn't know exactly why, or even if it was our plan, or we didn't think that we would be any good at it.
I don't even know the me I will be, without those two men in my life.
Hopefully they'll give me lots of love and support from the spirit world.
I guess I will stay here, and find out!
I hear so many stories and am shown so many stories, and instances, where people just knew what they had to do. I hear my clients talk about them, and their guides point them out sometimes.
And, you know we are all preparing for them beforehand. Even those small steps and preparations are sacred ones.
You are in right relationship.
You are in right relationship.
Yes, trust that. Access it. And take action from that place.
Helping Kramer take his steps to the spirit world will be mine right now, and he may be already gone when you read this. Please give him a wave and send some love.

And thank you for the work that you do, in this crazy, and beautiful dance.
This carefully orchestrated dance of life and death, of inhaling and exhaling.
We all value what you do. Do more of that.

8 Comments

Sovereignty, healthy anger, and a suffering soul

7/6/2021

2 Comments

Clean, righteous anger is so healthy for the body, the mind, and the soul. Whether you can express it outwardly, or need to scream it down a well, or throw rocks into the ocean or lake, it’s a part of being human, of protecting your boundaries, and of communicating what is not right, not working, not fair, and needs to change.
I have been watching a “Wisdom of Trauma" summit with the famous doctor Gabor Maté, and it is powerful. What triggered me in the movie was when he was working with a man who was dealing with cancer, and Gabor noted that in his findings with clients, most people who get cancer have a similar personality signature: they tend to have a hard time expressing their anger, they care more about another's needs than their own, and they feel great responsibility for others. They care too much about what others think, and avoid causing the stress of others, even if they don’t express their anger because of it.
His book, and talks on “When the Body Says No”, is groundbreaking, enlightening, and can be healing if you choose to look within. (I’ll post a youtube link for you at the end of this blog).
That was my dad, that was Terry, and that is me as well.
Terry had lots of anger, but he couldn’t express it cleanly, and he had a hard time with it, so he avoided doing so.
My Dad had had enough in his childhood, and just wanted peace.
I have a hard time expressing it, sometimes even accessing it. To keep the peace? Enabling? Because I am afraid of what people will do? Because of the repercussions?
Afraid that what comes out of my mouth will be so much harsher, since I’ve held it in for so long?
Because I am a nice person? Because I don’t want to see others in pain or hurt?

Growing up, we were all afraid of my moms anger. She had many emotions, but anger had us all stressed. Maybe it was because she was old school mom, raising 5 kids. Perhaps it was because she channelled something quite dark, and it came out then.
I tended to be the nice girl, the good girl (at least until my adolescence), and definitely the over sensitive one!
That kindness and sensitivity has become the cornerstone of my creativity, of my healing abilities, and my demeanor.
It wasn’t until later that I learned to have boundaries, and that healthy emotions include healthy anger, even rage.
Healthy is all the range of emotions.

In my years of doing readings, I can see if a person is expressing their own anger, or, the anger of someone else.
In your own space, someone else’s anger can feel like it is out of control, that it can’t be processed, it has no beginning and no end.

I just witnessed that yesterday, in an episode.

As emotionally draining it was for me, (and embarrassing, as it was in my front yard early Saturday morning) it freed me in a way, and taught me a lot.
Some of which I am still processing.
I’m learning why I do the work that I do.
What tools I still need.
And how to process it, and release it.
How to sit with the discomfort of other people being in pain, and unhappy with us. Or, unhappy, and not trying to fix them. Checking in on what you need while having difficult conversations, and setting boundaries.
Eye contact. Breathing through it.
Being present with the discomfort. There may be old trauma there, wounding, pain, and some weird velcro energy that keeps this happening in your life.
What is the learning lesson?

Grateful to have energy tools.

Having a “being whack” headache, the next day, after an exhausting escapade with someones angry and acting out being.
I know this very well, and also, I know the anxiety of it escalating into something big…a screaming match, a broken glass, a destruction of some sort.
And this time, as in other times, I felt it first.
Upon awaking, I felt the stomach tightening, and the heart also, and a feeling of dread, or fear.
There shouldn’t be those feelings, as nothing risky was to happen.
But there it was.

It was a simple situation of having some work done in my yard. The person (who brought a helper) measured something incorrectly, and had to spend time fixing it. Instead of apologizing and owning it, he blamed me, started yelling, threatening to leave it the way it is and go.
The atmosphere felt so very tense, almost explosive. I was a bit shaken, and went inside, not sure if it would get done, or not.
I still had my pajamas on, it was early, so I went back in, had coffee and took a shower and got dressed. Why did I feel so shaken?

In the middle of all this, I went inside, and sat down and said hello to my crown, my sovereignty, and my healthy boundaries, and then, said hello to the being.
Aha! That's what it was!

Ok, it all started making sense. It wasn't the man, but something living inside of him. He was channeling it.
So I centered myself, and began to talk to the being living inside this guy (who I guess was fixing the project outside, as they were still there, I could hear them working.
I told it (telepathically, firmly) that it is NOT welcome here, and MUST wait outside the yard, on the street.
No more destruction!
I see you, and all your anger. If you want some help, or some healing, there is a place for you (showing him the waiting room crystal, a healing tool that I use).
I could sense him listening, and so surprised that I could see him.

It did calm down, and I heard them working outside. When I went to check on the work, and take a photo, it was already finished! I saw the man's back, but he just walked down the driveway, and left (with the being).
His partner was still here, though, and spoke with me and profusely apologized for him. This is not a new behavior, that happens to him sometimes.
I was grateful for that conversation.
It grounded me.
The man returned with lunch for them both, and some beer. They were finished with the project, and it looked excellent. I think the beer or two placated the being, because it was all so much calmer. I felt safer. All was ok. His partner had cleaned and packed up the tools, and took his truck home.
I continued to find my space, and ground, and breathe, and gathered what I owed him. Everything was settling.

After I paid him, I told him that his partner apologized for him.
I said that how he acted was similar to my past partner's outbursts, and when it happened to him, it was very hard on his body. It would sometimes mean a sharp headache for the rest of the day, like a migraine.

I knew, though, that the outburst was not him; even his face and his walk changed. And, as this phenomena is so atmospheric, the entire room, or sometimes house would change, even if it was inside of a car. It was as if the ceiling was getting lower, or like the heavy energy just before an electrical storm.

I said that if he did not take care of this and change it in himself, that it would cause havoc in his space, and continue on into his children. It is very hard on his body.
I held my heart, while I said that that behavior is not ok with me, that we need much better communication. His actions are not acceptable here, and we need crystal clear communication on future projects.
I told him that I have to speak up about it, for myself, my integrity, because that is abusive, and I have dealt with this before.

He did apologize, and I saw that he was back in his body again. Yes, better communication next time. Yes, he also seemed to agree that the out of control anger was not him, and yet he didn't understand it.
(I could sense it to be a family ancestor, male, angry, and a bit of a drinker.
Everything calmed after he had two beers, and ate.)

The man I have been writing about is a very nice, competent man with a lot of integrity. He's a great guy. He just has a squatter stuck inside of him, and it causes pain and destruction to himself, and others. If it is a "not well yet" ancestor, well, he really didn't have much of a choice.
Well, he does, he just doesn't know it.

How stressful and weird. I felt a lot of emotions….energetically whacked by an angry entity, scared that the men would leave and I would be stuck with a mess, and embarrassed that this was happening outside in my front yard in the early morning. And I'm in my pajamas, and before coffee.

I was grateful, that I spoke to the being, and stated my boundaries.

That evening as I decompressed, I still had a bit of "being headache" but I was ok, and healed myself.
Much later, perhaps the morning, I felt very fragile, and weepy, like I had hit a nerve, or that a lot of pain was being released. My scared child self. How long has this been going on?
I spent today going a bit slower, and spent time in nature to heal. The big healing happened though, when I spoke up for myself, and spoke the truth. I stayed in the uncomfortableness of it. Of being an empath, a sensitive, who can sense and see spirit, a person who has been abused by peoples entities for a very long time. So long, that it became the backdrop of my relationship.
Being at the effect of, feeling unsafe, and running around trying to fix it.

This is a big reason why I do the work that I do, to help others who experience this. The being, and the human are both in pain because of it. I was taught to use the phrase "suffering soul" instead of being, or entity, but I chose to use the word "being" here. In this case they are interchangeable. It also helps to be compassionate, as well as having boundaries.
Yes, you can have both.

The next night, I was working with my guides for healing, maybe 6am. I asked for healing from my Ascended Master “brothers”, and my teachers.
They showed me all the times where I was subject to that (a rageful, angry being in my own partner, who recently passed).
Many years of it sulking, creating drama, nasty, hurtful. And who I became, to be able to deal with it.
There was so. Much. Pain. Years, decades of it. Many times it was in public. The entity ran the show. It was abusive.
Never physical, but taxing.
And I'm just so nice.
My partner was many things, including a wonderful, peaceful, patient, loving, and creative person. But, he had a being which disrupted both of our lives. I didn't have the tools in the beginning to deal with it, but I did get them. And now, I help others.

I got a healing, and released so much of that pain, and fear, and abuse energy. It was powerful.
I am still healing from the work they did, releasing a lot of past emotion, mostly pain, and fear, and other peoples energy.

I am telling you this story, to help you understand that even nice, kind people can have a squatter living within them, that can cause drama, pain, chaos, destruction, and can affect everyone around them.
Perhaps the person chose it for protection, perhaps the being is addicted to something, and uses the person. Perhaps the entity is just really stuck, and needs some help.
Maybe you know someone like that, that seems to change suddenly, dramatically, and the energy of the whole room changes.
Perhaps you are that person. Perhaps it is someone close to you.
What are some good tools to have when you encounter this in another?
How do you keep your sovereignty? (And what is that, exactly?)
What if that person doesn't believe, or doesn't want help?
What if it is overwhelming?
Or depressing?
Or causes physical symptoms?

If you need a reading from me, for yourself, or a relationship reading about this, please feel free to get one from me. You can get a lot of information that way, or, get a Hello as spirit. It can be so helpful.
Go to the Store page for that.
I also do shamanic sessions to help the suffering being, and healing sessions to help the person regain wholeness, zip up the energetic boundaries around them, and help the being find help, closure, and a better place to be.
The angry being may just be a very stuck, suffering soul, who hasn't seen any light in a long, long time.

Go to the Shamanic Healing page for that. There are more articles there for you to read, that can be very informative, and helpful.

Remember, that things aren't always what they seem. A rageful being could be a very lost, or very sad being, or perhaps had at one time a perfectly good reason for being that enraged. Sometimes just talking it through, being sacred witness in a compassionate (but sovereign, and safe) place can change everything, and this stuck soul can find something better, a better place to live.

I give a free, short talk, and you can bring your questions, or stories about this every other Wednesday, on Zoom.
You can find out more here, on upcoming events and I'll send you the link.

Lastly, here is the link to the Youtube lecture of Dr Gabor Maté, on "When the body says no", a truly fascinating talk on the negative consequences of always appeasing others, when perhaps your inner you is strongly saying no. It is truly worth the listen.

Many blessing as you go about your day, your summer, and here's to your eternal growth and healing.
And may all beings be free. ~Helena

2 Comments

You are from a resilient ancestral line

3/22/2021

3 Comments

We do not just have generational trauma, we also have generational gifts. I know so many of us that are unpacking the epigenetics of our ancestors, in a way of unraveling ourselves, and of healing our family lines. Those of us working on our shadow parts realize how much power, and creative energy are trapped in those parts, and how you were doing the best you could with what you were dealt.
Your ancestors also had resilience, courage, loyalty, integrity, kindness, magic, and warrior energy in them. And in their DNA.
And you have it too.
Your ancestors gave you more than just wounds.
Now that my Polish mother has past (the first anniversary is coming up) I sense a strength, and a kindness in her, in her spirit, and in her line.
And yet what a hard life that lineage has had. And, they have so many gifts to offer as well.
Remember those gifts, and those talents, and that resilience.
That is in your DNA also.
When the hardest times happened in my own life, and I thought I could take no more, my mom would say to me, "You will make it. You can do this. We are survivors. I am that. You are that".
And it helped assuage my pain, even though I did not quite know all the stories, that I know now.
If you are going to choose a label for yourself, acknowledge what happened, but choose a version of that label that holds space for the brightest version of you and what you are growing into. What they are growing into.
You are not just a victim. Or a survivor. You are so much more. And you are here to change and evolve that, and your descendants and your ancestors reap the benefits. As do you.
Be aware of what archetype you have focused on. You are meant to grow, and evolve from them, and eventually change those forms, even if they have been etched into your lineage.
I have been looking down the family lineage of both sides of her generational lines, and yes there was trauma. Absolutely. And in her was a pain that I never understood, as a child. The pain made her softer around the edges, even though she tried to be stoic, but her trauma splintered her.
After I understood (and saw clairvoyantly, and was witness to as shamanic practitioner) I had compassion for so many things.
What an awakening.
It is too much to list here, but what I do know, it that some hold the burdens for the family line, and some do not.
And that some go back in time to witness, and heal the family trauma, and some do not.
Some live out and become the trauma, some even further the abuse.
there can be so much pain there, it seems unbearable.
I see that in my practice, quite a bit. The secrets, hungry ghosts, the curses that go down family lineages, and the illnesses which gravitate toward certain organs and bones.
The dysfunction that serves instead of evolving, and which gets passed on.
I watch as my brothers rage, and control are almost identical to generations past. It never gets witnessed, or the clenched fist opened, and the pain unraveled.
And down it goes, down the family tree.
He couldn’t even acknowledge my partners death, ghosting what doesn’t follow along, or refuses to be abused.
As much as it hurts my heart, I can see the pattern, like a snowflake, or a fractal. I gives a bit of compassion, and even a sense of hope.
Hope because I have seen, how toxic patterns in family lines do change. Slowly. By bringing it out of the shadows. By being sacred witness. By love.
Love and patience, and being witness to the past, withholding judgement.
A soft yet solid protection, a curiosity, yet an enormous aura of sovereignty, and ownership of crown.
That can move the most solid of mountains, and offer solutions of release, and of lighter paths.

Back to my mother, and her growth as a spirit.
I dream of her a few times a week, and we talk. She shows me what she’s learned. I sense she is with family and loved ones. She is watching over me. While I am grieving my partners loss, she holds the kindest space, because she knows.
That has happened to her.
She went mad for a while, and sunk into the madness of grief, of pain, and denial, much to my family’s horror.
It became their pain, too.
Now I see that trait in the lineage.
Luckily, I am allowing my pain, and asking for help, and being kind, and patient with myself.
And she comes around with the kindness that she has, that perhaps she could not muster for herself.
It is so healing.
So healing.
Especially in these Covid quarantine times, when I am alone here, or just with nature.
Nature healed her as well. So did her work.

And my brothers rage? I cannot match it. My life is softer, kinder, because of the work I do, and what I have seen. My organs could not hold that energy. I couldn’t even ask my body to transmute it all, because it goes so far back.
So, energy work it is.

Remember all the good, that your family lineage holds.
The well ones, the radiant ones, are there for you, with only love, and wisdom, and no agenda.
They can help,
just ask.

The well, the true, the radiant ancestors can show you paths you did not know,
to healing waters, and strengths, and fortitude, and joys, and delights, and amazing growth. and change.
And this, you can pass down to your descendants.

A well worn Polish dress, with secret images embroidered into it, showing goddesses, and helpers, and customs, and creation, and answers to questions, and secrets.
So many generations have worn those ancient vestiges, and if you notice carefully, some have hemmed, and re hemmed parts of it, have mended, and washed, and even added to it.
Added its magic and protection. There are rules and ethics on how to be, there are talents, and strengths sewn into the fabric. How to make a way out of no way. There is even how to heal yourself, how to grieve, how to sing to others, how to absorb healing, how to grow, how to build community, how to be sovereign in the face of change.
That is all sewn into your DNA.

You were made out of the love of thousands.

Happy spring, and may those fresh green shoots mirror your own growth, and the growth of all who came before you.
Yes, they can still heal, and grow.
As will you, and yours.
May it be so.

Natalia Rak, muralist, in Białystok, Poland

copyright@helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy2021

3 Comments

A transfiguring tool with the breath

2/10/2021

1 Comment

We must be the change we wish to see in this world, to be the light.
Unabashedly.
And yet gently, silently. Be the love.
It’s hard when things aren’t going our way, and amongst the fear and the darkness, around us. And in us.
But once we know, we can’t go back.
We can’t unknow.
Staying in that place of gratitude, and divine love, is a gentle and quiet space, it can be invisible to most, although they will see it in your eyes.
They will sense your aura, because it will be expansive.
Others will sense that, although they will probably not see it.
As a psychic, it may look like the aura of someone in love.
I’m sure you have had that, and that you have sensed that in others.
And you can’t help but be affected by it.
The same with animals, and with plants, with the elementals, and the elements themselves!
You can’t help but be affected by it.

There is always a time out space, though, and there is always the ability to have doubt, and fear, or grief, or resentment.
It is there also. Sometimes these things need to be brought to the surface, and acknowledged, otherwise they will scream for attention, and will show up in other ways.
That is life, and it is not a problem. It doesn’t stop the road you are on of be-ing, of your divine sovereignty.

Yes, this is your divine right, to own your space, and to decide how you wish to run your energy.
it is your choice.
And you get to choose, and re choose, every second, every minute every hour of every day.
You get to wake up in the morning and decide.
You get to be entangled in the world, and react.
And then choose again.
It is a constant awareness, and loss of awareness, of being aware of your sovereignty, and reaffirming that space.
You can show others around you of your choice, and they can choose to uplift as well, but they don’t have to. They have choice too.
It is a gentle showing, and an invite. It is an inward process.
Imagine it as a meditation, of breathing in that light, and being it. That love. That golden energy of the blessing field.
Be it, in that place between breaths, in that short precious pause.
And on the exhale, you can be aware of what isn’t that in your space, acknowledge it, and breathe it out.
It is a wonderful transformative meditation!

It is life affirming, and love affirming. And, on the out breath, you just are aware of the drama, or the anger, or grief, or pain, for example.
Perhaps for only a second or two of that long exhale.
Just try it for a moment.

Breathe in the light, breathe in the love, it is divine, immense, healing! It comes into you, brilliant, glowing.

In-between the inhale and exhale, just become it. No separation.
I AM that. I AM.
You are starlight, you are sunlight. You are that brilliance. You are love.

Exhale now, slowly, and acknowledge anything that appears. Yes, that. I see you. Yes.
Just allow those thoughts, the “yes buts”.
Be witness, let them be heard, be loved, and then allow them to simply drain the extra.
As you do this, your auric field changes, your brain waves slow down, your fight or flight response in your body loses its grip, and your body heals itself.
All of your “yes but” thoughts, (most coming from ego, some from shadow) are heard, and acknowledged.
Some of the ones that require physical action at some point, can have layers and layers of emotional energy drained off of them.
Especially if you do this meditation often, and it becomes a habit.
When those layers drop off, how you react to those thoughts and emotions is very different.
You can hear them, coming from the space of your true self.
You can acknowledge and be witness to them.
And so many of the issues and problems in your life became bigger, as they were filled with layers of fear, and anger, and old beliefs.
Just allow them. Let them tell you. Be there.
And then, inhale.
inhale in the light. Transfigure. Become.

It is an amazing, simple way to transform your energy, and the energy of the space around you.
You will see huge changes by doing something so simple.
It is not spiritual bypassing to become light, and you can act if you need to act…to have healthy boundaries,
to say no,
to get things done,
to handle difficult situations.
But it comes from a different paradigm.

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are"
E. E. Cummings

Transfiguration is beautiful, but it is also empowering, and offers you more choices. And you can do this breathing exercise while taking a walk in nature, upon awakening, while waiting on hold on the telephone, while listening to an upset friend, while being upset yourself.
perhaps remind yourself to do this, by leaving a reminder in places in your home or car. A post it note, a small trinket that reminds you to just breathe with intention.

Take a minute or two to transfigure, and just be that light, the love and the gratitude of that love that you are.
let it be part of your spiritual immune system, your energy hygiene regime. Let it be a tool for your spirits toolbox, and watch how your life changes.

Blessings, and bright moments,
Helena

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A death in the family

12/5/2020

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Wow this year has really been intense, as my life as I’ve known it has been completely unraveled, completely changed, and I, with it.
It started with my mother dying, of Covid, in April, when the pandemic had begun. I spoke with her on Friday, and she had turned a fast corner, and passed on Monday.

When I last saw her in person, she was living at her own home, which I knew was about to change.
I remember saying goodbye to the house, the memories, the chachkis, the old linoleum, the way she had her kitchen table set, her fishpond, the trees, the plants, the stories, oh the many stories, and the love.
I gathered as much love as I could, in my pockets, and gave back to the earth, my gratitude.
At that point, my ancestors were waiting, patiently “for Louise”.
After she passed, I held space for her, energetically, and watched her, as she took her slow journey back home.

I didn’t know then, that my own partner, of 20 years would pass suddenly 5 months later, of cancer.

It all happened so fast, and it was all so very intense. My only job was to care for him, with as much love, and consciousness, and spirit as I could.
It was three weeks, from when we found out, until when he succumbed to his cancer.
What a journey. My friends, and his friends, and all our family held him, held us both in love, and light, and spirit, and that made all the difference in the world.
All of my psychic and shamanic colleagues did also. It was like an amazing net of light, around us both.

Of course it was painful, and scary, for us both, and I did my best to make sure that Terry wasn’t in pain, and felt truly loved the entire time.
I think he felt that.
In three short weeks, we said our goodbyes, and I had to handle so many things, on so many levels, so that his transition was smooth, and righteous, and good.
I think that was accomplished. His family came to visit on a Friday, and he passed the next morning.

I had never been so close to cancer. I had never been so close to death. I spoke with these two beings at great length, until the end, and beyond the end.
I learned so much, about love, and about presence, and about keeping it real (I was playing powerful, spiritual music for his passing, as he was in hospice at home, with me. Then I realized that he doesn’t like my “new age” music, and would be better with his favorite jazz tunes, his John Coltrane, and Dave Brubeck, and Miles Davis.
That was a better send off for him.

I was lucky to be psychic enough to witness the energy around his passing, and afterwards, on his next journey, his next steps, and I am very grateful for him allowing me to witness that.
There was so much love around him the whole time.

Funny, that I finished my teachers program at that time, and the last course, was on Death, and Dying.
I had to be witness, and feel all of that, to help me to be a better teacher, a better wife, friend, and a better human.
I learned and grew, also, by giving up control, and allowing others to care for me, to give to me, and to let myself fall apart, and grieve.

Martin Prechtel is right, in so many ways, that Grief comes from the same muscle as praise, as love. That it is a community thing, not only a silent, alone thing.
Because of Covid, there was no funeral, but there was a Zoom gathering, which really helped with closure, and a place for people to gather, and tell stories, and say goodbye.

After his ashes came back, we gathered at the rocky beach, about an hour away, in the small town of Pescadero. It was a place we loved to go and pick rocks that were worn completely smooth by the rough surf, into beautiful shapes. He chose that spot, and we did a simple, powerful ceremony there, and everyone took a handful of Terry, and let him go, and become the ocean, and the mist, and the rocks.
Some of him, I sprinkled onto an open sea anemone, in a tide pool, that we would have loved to explore together.

I still feel him around, helping, and protecting, and providing, but basically, he is on his way to his next adventure.
I am completely changed.
Filled with both sadness, loss and grief, and a sense that a huge part of me is gone, and also, a strange sense of completion, in that emptiness, as if, like it or not, the next chapter of my life is already in motion.
This has all (of course) brought my own mortality into the front burner. With the work that I do, that is not a problem, but I also know that luck favors the prepared.

As time marches on, I am curious to see who will emerge from this.
Who will I become? Am I already that, and just taking off one more jacket, one more layer?

I am so grateful, to be held in so much love. That makes all the difference.
I have just been witness to such extraordinary things. I am grateful that Terry died without pain, and surrounded by love.
After everyone came for the ocean “send off”, and then left (the house, my space) I was able to settle into aloneness, in a big house.

Then I got Covid, and spent 2 weeks in bed with the flu.
It was almost funny (aside from the uncomfortableness of it all) because I really needed to purge, to completely take care of myself, and, perhaps, just sleep, and sleep, and heal myself.
And that I did.
And, again, friends came to the rescue, delivering soups, and medicine, and flowers and cards… forcing me to see how supported I am.

So now (3 weeks later) I am well, and feeling better every day.
i’m seeing clients again (thank you to everyone who waited!) and slowly getting back into the world. It was only a few months, but it feels like an entire year has just gone by, perhaps more.
I have definitely grown from this, and will grow more as I settle into the next chapter of my life. All of it.

Thank you for being a friend, a colleague, a client, and a part of my amazing journey, our amazing journey.
As Ram Dass said, “We are all just walking each other home”.

Bright moments,

Helena

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Comfort and Joy

8/6/2020

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It’s not what we do, but who we are. It’s how we show up.
How we show up in our friendships, in our family, our relationships, in our business, with our neighbors.
In our spiritual practice.

Being aware of the difference of being completely guarded, to be protected, to be overly protected.
And, yes we need to have our boundaries! That keeps everyone healthy, and helps relationships, and groups that we are in, to have trust.

But too many guards, can be like security guards, can be like our prison guards, and we can lose connection with other people, with nature, and ultimately, ourselves.

Even our own comfort zone, can be like a very comfortable prison, blocking out much needed growth, and experiences.
We nurture our own self worth and esteem, by doing things we are not sure we could do.
As I watch people lately, including myself, I see that the last few months have put people into their comfort zones. There is a lot of anxiety about the future, and a lot of pain, and change, and uncertainty.

So a comfort zone feels really good, feels safe and healing. But it keeps us stuck, and we start to see things from that perspective, which is not really the whole truth.

In an energetic concept, that may mean that we have good psychic protections, good boundaries, including the ability to say no.
We clean our spaces, and become clear, so we can be of service to others, as healers, to the planet, as children of the earth.
It’s wonderful, then, because we feel safe to venture out, to be vulnerable, real, even curious.

And that part of you is needed now.

It brings much value to your work.
It brings much value to the planet, and to your friends.

There are many earth changes now, too, which makes us feel uneasy, a little scared. Easy to revert back, like a turtle, in it’s shell.
The mainstream news is taking advantage of this fear, division, and un-ease, this dis-ease.

It’s good to take breaks from the energy of it, to help you to re-group, and get into balance. It can really help.
Obviously, also, is the wonderful growth, and much needed changes to our systems, our old paradigms that we were living with, or, putting up with, because we weren’t aware of the power of community to change, and to have a voice.
This is all so wonderful, and timely, so healing! We are all walking in new territory now.
And so perhaps the old comfort zone is a bit worn, a bit unraveled at the edges.
Your comfort zone is tired of you, always being there.

Perhaps it is time to examine it, and to create a new zone of comfort?
What would you change about yours?
Take a moment, and take a look.
What do you do that keeps you “safe”, either socially, energetically, in your career, your home, your art, your health, your politics, your methods of doing things. How much you give. Or take. Or ask for help.

Now, a comfort zone is there for a reason, a safe place where we can resort to when we need in times of chaos, or strife, anxiety, or pain, grief, or uncertainty.
Or change.
Change, which is a constant in life.
Change is actually the one thing that we can count on.

So I invite you to take a look at, the energetic “room” which is your comfort zone.
Do a meditation, or journey, where you create a room, see yourself in it, and have a good, slow, conscious look around.

Name 5 things that you do there, have there.
What makes you feel safe?
Who do you hang out with?
What do you wear, or eat, or watch?
Where do you go repeatedly?
What is your spirituality? Your “go to” gods, or meditation?
What do you spend your money on?
Why do you feel safe there?

Name 5 things that you do not do, when you are in your comfort zone.
What big steps?
What do you need to guard?
what are you afraid to lose, if you venture out?
Would there be repercussions?

I think for me it involves physical safety, and sometimes not being seen, or judged. I think I go unconscious, in my way of hoarding things for myself, as if there might be a time I need it, and not enjoying the present. That includes my time, my tools, my sense of adventure, money, even big projects. Travel. Sometimes, it is not telling my truth, or ending a friendship, that is not working anymore.
It is sometimes saving the good parts for last, the good stuff for later, as if my comfort zone thinks there is not enough to go around. Always a what if, keeping me from making big decisions, that my heart already knows the answer to. For me it involves not making decisions, although they could be really good, (but perhaps not. I want guarantees).

Stepping out of it, for me, means taking chances, speaking out for what I believe. Speaking up for myself. It means reaching out, and asking for help.
Doing the work is no problem for me, it’s the getting started. a commitment, a plan.
A decision.
Taking a chance.
It means caring, when I had put up a wall, as to not get hurt. Being afraid, and then doing it anyway.
Being vulnerable.
Being curious.
Many times showing up.
Just. Simply. Showing. Up.

Just like a young child feels safe to venture out and explore, because the safety of the arms of his parents are nearby, we can feel safe because we have our inner core of strength.
We also have the ability to be flexible, to be flexible in that vulnerability.
The world looks different when we allow ourselves to be softer.
As we are more conscious, and through our choices, more real, more present, we can feel safe enough to expand our comfort zone, or, to step out of it, and feel the cool breeze on our face.
Being curious.

It brings much value to your work, and your relationships, including your relationship with nature, and with change.
Remember, that there are parts of you who need the comfort zone, and parts of you who wish to explore.

Everyday,
take a moment,
sit at your deathbed
and see what your dying
self has to say
about your life.

When weighing important options, it is good to do this in meditation or journey. It is one change that is a constant, and not that far off.

So, what would you like to adjust in your comfort zone? Perhaps make it more of a network? Add trust? Be more conscious in there? Make a side door that you can sneak out of?
More positive, and loving self talk? It may help you take some big steps out and on your own.
Walk outside of it, and just notice.
You can always come back in.
Perhaps one day it will not be there.
That comfort zone.

But, you can recreate it.
A different version,
lighter,
breathable,
or, perhaps,
very tiny, like a pearl,
that you can carry easily,
in your heart.

And, besides,
it feels good to feel the breeze on you face, and skin, when you are out of it, and,
outside of it, is where the magic happens!

I am reminded of young Bilbo Baggins, in the Hobbit, when Gandalf the wizard, asked him to come with the team to other lands, for a good cause, and have an adventure.
He grumpily, and fearfully said, safe in his hobbit home,
“Adventure!? Silly things, make you late for dinner!”
But then he went, and things were never the same.
They were much, much better.

And, the Bilbo Baggins at his deathbed (had he gone there to discuss with his future, dying self, beforehand), would have been so proud of him, so happy, relieved, and honored, that he climbed out of his comfort zone, and gone with his trust, encouragement, new friends, and a good horse.
And he lived to return and tell the tale.
He called it, "There, and back again".

May you, may we all, examine the old zone, and update it, renovate it, consciously be there, and consciously leave, and come back again, as there is much magic and adventure in that.

I wish you blessings, of
Comfort, and Joy,

copyright@helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy 2020

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Using your anger to heal your space

7/10/2020

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One of the great things about meditating, and being aware and checking in on your space, is that your emotions are ok.
If they are your emotions.
If they are yours, they were there for a reason, or a message. You can witness, or acknowledge, and then choose.
All emotions are ok.
If it is someone else’s emotion, though, in your space, it is confusing, and difficult. It can seem like it is yours, although there is no beginning, middle or end, and it can appear overwhelming. Unresolvable, indigestible.
I always ask my clients, my students, and myself, “is that your pain? Is that your depression? Your confusion? Your anger?”.
Many times, there is a moment of clarity, an aha! moment, and we get our seniority back.
Sometimes we can use our own energy to flush out the energy of others, and reclaim our own space, even if that means breaking some healing agreements with other people. We can’t solve another’s problem by doing this anyway. We can’t fix them in this way.
Also, sometimes it isn’t one person, but the community, the media and their agenda, or even years of old programming!

So, in this blog we’ll do a short meditation, (or journey) to simply run our own anger throughout our space, like a loop of energy.
We will be grounded to the center of our sweet mother earth, where we can be connected, solid, but also, so that we can release old energies, or other people’s energies, even old agreements, out of our space.
It’s just energy.
The “not you” that you give to the earth will be composted, and transformed into something that can be used for something else.
Your anger is powerful, boundary setting, healthy energy. Sometimes it gets things done. It does rev you up! It will clear your channels out, like Roto-Rooter, as you claim your space.
Notice that you are NOT sending this energy to anyone. You are expressing it, and running it in a loop in your own space.

When you are finished running it, you can run a clear, cool, blue through your space, like a gentle rain, to quench, and calm, and replenish, as much, or as little, as you need.

Remember, that you have a volume control dial, within you. You can turn that up, or, down, as you need to.
So let’s begin.
Get yourself comfortable for your journey, or meditation, and breathe yourself back into yourself. Close your eyes, and see yourself in a small field.
This is your energetic field; the space that contains you.
You might see your protections around the outside of the field, whether it is a picket fence, or shrubs, or a moat, or flowers, like roses.
Sense yourself there.
Sense your space.
Sense and create your grounding, your grounding cord, and make sure it is set on release.
Now put your attention on your belly, on your second and third chakra area, and breathe.
You may see a few different colors of red. Let that be anger. Yours, and other peoples.
Just breathe and notice.

You may start to notice who owns certain colors. One might be your family, or your partner, or the media, or a boss, or a friend. Keep looking, and sensing, until you find your color. Your own color, your own anger.
That’s the healthy stuff.
Now, allow that color to run up your space, out your head, and fountain all around you. Let gravity shower it down around you. Let it flush your face, and flow down your arms, and out your hands.
Let it pulse, and flow through your belly, your spine, your hips, and down your thighs.
Let it go down your legs, ankles and feet, and recirculate again, throughout your body.
Remember that you are owning it, and healing yourself with it. You are reclaiming your space. This anger is yours. This color you have chosen.
You can sense, or see any other anger, that is not yours, as leaving your space, and going down your grounding cord, into the earth.
It will be composted there.
It might teach you something, about what you hold on to.
Feel the power of this energy clearing your space. It has intelligence.
Move out what you need to. Heal yourself.
When you are ready, you can find that volume dial, and turn it down to what feels comfortable for you. And, in your belly, you can intend a calm blue water color to come in, and run through those same channels, healing, and cooling.
This is your anger, and you can use it to heal your self on what level you may need.

When you are ready, breathe yourself fully back into your space, fully present, nourished, and recharged.
Good job on letting go of other peoples anger, too! That stuff is not yours, and too heavy for you.

We have done this in both my psychic meditation class, and also a shamanic journeying class, and it worked in both, with great results.
I’m sure you can also substitute grief, etc to your advantage at another time. This, though, really clears your space, and sets boundaries.
It is also wonderful and wise that your own anger is allowed to be, without sending it out at anyone or anything.
Gentle blessings on your day and your new space!

copyright2020@helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy

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Clearing unconscious energy

6/10/2020

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Clearing away unconscious energy
(Or, burning off the fog bank) to get to the goodies.
In teaching basic meditation 1, Psychic skills class, it is easy to forget to practice every day, because you usually need to break through a layer of fog, called unconscious energy. It is not painful, it’s more like a brain fog, or a fuzzy sleepy feeling”. Sometimes it is a rush of energy…needing to do everything on your chore list first, or, having the environment be perfect.
Like procrastination, it keeps you from settling down, and sitting with what is.

And that sitting with what is, can be a mere few seconds of some emotional discomfort, or, an awareness.
Sometimes is is an emotionally charged “picture”, that’s floating around in your aura.
When you get past that unconsciousness, and start to meditate, and start to clear your space, you “burn off” some of that unconsciousness, the way that the sun will burn off the fog belt, in the bay area coast where I live.
Even after you have gotten into the habit of daily meditation , or “running energy”, even with your best disciplines, you most likely will hit that energy.

Don’t worry, lol, you get used to it. After a few minutes of your chattering thoughts, and your squirming body, your spirit starts to come back into the body from wherever it was. Perhaps it was in the past, or the future, or still at work, or stuck on a pain picture.
I promise you, that your patience will pay off, and you will start coming in for a landing, back into that beautiful body of yours. You will get a sweet healing, and become much clearer, and grounded than before.
You will start to release that fuzzy unconscious energy, and your body will start to settle down. Soon the avoidance of looking at a piece of pain that you have, or, an awareness of truth, will lessen, and you will make a landing, into your body, like an experienced pilot lands his small plane.
And that is where the magic happens.

Sometimes, all I can do is sit there, with my eyes closed, getting ready to meditate, and explode roses for unconscious energy. Blow roses* for procrastination.
Blow roses* for the fact that someone else energy jumped into my space, and it kicked me out a little.
Don’t resist, just blow roses*. Don’t try. Don’t judge. Just start running your energy, and be patient.

Don’t believe all the thoughts and emotions that you are receiving. Don’t match the energy of unconsciousness. Don’t go to sleep. Don’t eat a box of cookies instead of running your energy.
(Save them as a treat, for afterward, when you are feeling clear, energized, and embodied. Then you can share them with a friend)!

When I learned this method of clearing my space in meditation, I was also taught to keep it simple…to be in kindergarten.
You lose it, you find it, you lose it again. No problem.
Don’t forget to laugh at yourself, to be patient, as your spirit comes in for a landing.
And yes, those golden suns, and blowing roses will burn off the grey “fog bank’ of energy.
It is so worth it, for the clarity, neutrality, grounding, and the lightness of being you will have afterwards.
Your body will trust you more, and the foreign energy will run! Well, ok, maybe the foreign energy will slink away, giving you the stink eye, but hey, it will be gone!

Another gift of flying in through the fog bank of energy, is that perhaps that uncomfortable emotion, or painful picture has a message for you, and acknowledging it could be important, or freeing, or both.
It could be nothing more than some sadness in your space. Or, someone else sadness in your space. Or competition. Or a being. Keep blowing roses. Give a nice, big, fat hello to it!
Hello! Hello someone else's harsh competition energy! I always go into pain and guilt about it because of my childhood wounding, and try to heal it. Let me just sit with that for a moment. Let me de-charge all of that. (I am not matching the energy, I am just noticing, and acknowledging). Blowing roses.
So, that is what all the fuss is about? Some womans competition threw me off center, because it reminded me of something 50 years ago?
Blowing roses, for the initial pain from when I was a young child, and thought I would get abandoned.

Fog bank is lifting. I can feel the relief, to lighten the load of a very stuck picture, a very old one. Now I have some freedom, and some wiggle room.
Filling up with my own energy now. The meditation is going smoother, and I can come back in for a landing.

I feel better, and I have more choices, rather than react from an old wound, which was floating around in my space, making me feel icky.

The woman throwing competition is not a threat, or even a bother, as I have many choices now. I can be amused. I can be neutral. I can hum a tune as I move her energy out of my space.
It didn’t have much to do with me anyway, it had to do with her own wounding.
That gives me a lot more room to be, and a lot more clarity, and forgiveness.

Still running energy, and blowing roses. It is starting to feel so clear, with the energy flowing through my channels.
My third chakra, my stomach area, feels so much more at ease.
I can even laugh at myself, as I end my meditation, and energy work. My channels feel clear, as does my spinning chakras, and I feel happily planted in my body.
Filling up with another golden sun to replenish, and I will end my meditation.
Ahh.
And hey, weren’t there some cookies? Lol

Enjoy your day, and enjoy getting clear!
Remember to stay in patience, and kindergarten, and run your energy everyday!
If you don’t know this form of running energy meditation, I highly recommend it. I teach it frequently (check the website), and there are many other practitioners who do also.
Blessings!

*Blowing roses is a term created by founder Lewis Bostwick, who uses an image of a rose, to hold the energy of something, either to look at it in neutrality, or to decharge the energy of it, by exploding it, sometimes repeatedly.
destroying the charge on it can help in numerous ways.
Time to take a class, or sit, and use your tools?
The possibilities are endless.

helenamazzariello/spiritinjoycopyright 2020

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Sovereignty in Flux

5/11/2020

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Part of having sovereignty, that space of knowingness, of certainty, and safety, and ownership of who you really are, is the ability to come from, to act from, react from, and see the world from that place. To walk the talk.
Who are you when you are in your sovereignty?
What I have come to know, and am still in process of learning, is that having feelings, and experiencing them makes you stronger, and more of a warrior, than if you didn’t.
That means pain, isolation, or a “setpoint” consciousness, or that gut feeling that tells you that something is not right.
It could be a knowingness.
Perhaps, a knowingness, that you are off track, off target, and adjusting.
When, with a client, and you are looking at the world through your pain picture, or outdated belief structure, for example.
I find this when doing a reading for someone, or during a shamanic session.
If, in a space of protection, or ownership of your space, you are wound too tightly, or your crown is too filled with preconceived notions, you may find that you are missing the point.
It is one of the reasons that I love the Berkeley Psychic Institute style of reading, because (if done well) you are always in flux, you are always freeing yourself from stuck, old belief patterns, or fears, that keep you from fully being alive, growing, and being well, as a spirit in a body.
What that means for your sovereignty, your ownership of your space, (which includes all 4 bodies) is that it moves, and changes, and is always changing.
It is in a state of flux, as you are in the process of being annealed. You, by your realizations of who you are, and who you are not, are growing and changing, taking steps up, and evolving.
That means that your protections are changing, including what you are protecting yourself against.
What are your protections, when you have a belief picture in your space, that everyone is out to get you? What are your sovereign entitlements, and how does it help you, if you have a picture of guilt, or being unworthy? Do you radiate less light? As you work on yourself, and clear yourself, you start to see the world differently.
And, the world may react differently.
When you see how each of us are artists, and we each paint our own picture of “the truth”, even your own belief system, your own truth, is in a state of flux.

If you have read “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, you may be interested to know that there is a fifth one, about discernment.
All of these agreements are quite freeing, and will change how you see your place in the world.

"The fifth agreement is be skeptical, but learn to listen.
Be skeptical because most of what you hear isn’t true. You know that humans speak with symbols and that symbols are only the truth because we agree, not because they are really the truth.
But the second half of the agreement is learn to listen, and the reason is simple: When you learn to listen, you understand the meaning of the symbols that people are using; you understand their story, and the communication improves a lot.
Once you realize that hardly anything you know through symbols is true, then being skeptical has a much bigger meaning. Being skeptical is masterful because it uses the power of doubt to discern the truth. Whenever you hear a message from yourself or from another artist, simply ask: Is it truth, or is it not truth? Is it reality or is it a virtual reality? The doubt takes you behind the symbols and makes you responsible for every message you deliver and receive. Why invest your faith in any message that is not true? By being skeptical, you don’t believe every message; you don’t put your faith in symbols, and when your faith is not in symbols, your faith is in yourself.
To have faith is to believe without a doubt, and to doubt is to be skeptical. Don’t believe all the stories that we artists create with our knowledge. You know that most of our knowledge isn’t true, so don’t believe me, don’t believe yourself, and don’t believe anybody else.
The truth doesn’t need you to believe it; the truth simply is, and it survives whether you believe it or not. Lies need you to believe them. If you don’t believe lies, they don’t survive your skepticism, and they simply disappear.
But skepticism can go in two directions. One way is to pretend to be skeptical because you think you’re too smart to be gullible. “Look at how intelligent I am. I don’t believe in anything.” This is not skepticism. To be skeptical is not to believe everything you hear, and you don’t believe because it’s not the truth, that’s all.
The way to be skeptical is just to be aware that the entire humanity believes in lies. You know that humans distort the truth because we are dreaming, and our dream is just a reflection of the truth.
Every artist distorts the truth, but you don’t need to judge what somebody says, or call that person a liar. All of us tell lies in one way or another, and it’s not because we want to lie. It’s because of what we believe; it’s because of the symbols we learned, and the way we are applying all of those symbols. Once you are aware of this, the fifth agreement makes a lot of sense, and it can make a very big difference in your life.
People will come to you and tell you their personal story, their point of view, what they believe is truth. But you won’t judge if it’s truth or if it’s not truth. You don’t have any judgment, but you do have respect. You listen to the way other people express themselves, knowing that whatever they say is nothing but a story distorted by their beliefs. You know that because you can feel it. You just know. But you also know when their words come from truth, and you know without words, and that’s the main point.
Truth or fiction, you don’t have to believe anyone’s story. You don’t have to agree or disagree. Just listen. The more impeccable a person is with the word, the clearer the message will be, but the words that come from another artist have nothing to do with you. It’s nothing personal. You listen and you understand all the words, but the words no longer affect you. You no longer judge what other people say because you understand what they are doing. They are only letting you know what is going on in their virtual world.
All artists live in their own dream, in their own world. In that world, whatever they perceive is truth for them, and it could be that it’s absolutely true for the artists who are expressing their story, but it’s not truth for you. The only truth for you is what you perceive in your world. With this awareness, there’s nothing to prove to anyone. It’s not about being right or wrong. You respect whatever somebody says because respect is so important. When you learn to listen, you show respect for other artists, you show respect for their art, for their creation.
All artists have the right to create their art in whatever way they want. They have the right to believe whatever they want to believe; they have the right to say whatever they have to say, but if you don’t learn to listen, you will never understand what they’re saying. When you learn to listen, you know exactly what other people want. Once you know what they want, what you do with that information is up to you."

All of us, especially healers, and those in the helping services, need good ownership of our crown, and the wisdom in action of our sovereignty, our divine right to have our space in a state of wholeness.
But don’t put on a one size fits all crown.
Allow your space to grow, and expand, as you do, as your spirit, and your personality, and your clientele does.
It can be like a dance, and not just a contract, or form that you fill out.
It is, an agreement, however.

I can liken it to a politician, or teacher, or a person in power. Even a beauty pageant winner, lol.
What do they do, with this power?
Are they being of service? Are they self serving? Does their crown bend, and change, and grow with them?
Look at your ownership of your power, and your crown, now, and where you were 10 years ago.
Luckily, it was those mistakes that helped you along the way! Those realizations, or the letting go of unnecessary armor, or old pictures of survival, or victimhood, or control.
Perhaps it was the standing up for yourself.
Or, of the asking for help, and the softening.
Or using helpers, and guides.

"Your crown has been bought and paid for. Put it on your head and wear it." ~ Maya Angelou

Your discernment, in your life, and the “mistakes”, and changes leading up to that discernment, have become the rubies, and the pearls, and the emeralds, and the diamonds which adorn your crown.
And, it is not a contract or agreement, which is written in stone, but one that is fluid, and allows for change, as you do, and as we all do.
A crown of sovereignty, and of power, and protection, which lasts through time, and both has a purpose, and, also, just is.