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You are from a resilient ancestral line

3/22/2021

We do not just have generational trauma, we also have generational gifts. I know so many of us that are unpacking the epigenetics of our ancestors, in a way of unraveling ourselves, and of healing our family lines. Those of us working on our shadow parts realize how much power, and creative energy are trapped in those parts, and how you were doing the best you could with what you were dealt.
Your ancestors also had resilience, courage, loyalty, integrity, kindness, magic, and warrior energy in them. And in their DNA.
And you have it too.
Your ancestors gave you more than just wounds.
Now that my Polish mother has past (the first anniversary is coming up) I sense a strength, and a kindness in her, in her spirit, and in her line.
And yet what a hard life that lineage has had. And, they have so many gifts to offer as well.
Remember those gifts, and those talents, and that resilience.
That is in your DNA also.
When the hardest times happened in my own life, and I thought I could take no more, my mom would say to me, "You will make it. You can do this. We are survivors. I am that. You are that".
And it helped assuage my pain, even though I did not quite know all the stories, that I know now.
If you are going to choose a label for yourself, acknowledge what happened, but choose a version of that label that holds space for the brightest version of you and what you are growing into. What they are growing into.
You are not just a victim. Or a survivor. You are so much more. And you are here to change and evolve that, and your descendants and your ancestors reap the benefits. As do you.
Be aware of what archetype you have focused on. You are meant to grow, and evolve from them, and eventually change those forms, even if they have been etched into your lineage.
I have been looking down the family lineage of both sides of her generational lines, and yes there was trauma. Absolutely. And in her was a pain that I never understood, as a child. The pain made her softer around the edges, even though she tried to be stoic, but her trauma splintered her.
After I understood (and saw clairvoyantly, and was witness to as shamanic practitioner) I had compassion for so many things.
What an awakening.
It is too much to list here, but what I do know, it that some hold the burdens for the family line, and some do not.
And that some go back in time to witness, and heal the family trauma, and some do not.
Some live out and become the trauma, some even further the abuse.
there can be so much pain there, it seems unbearable.
I see that in my practice, quite a bit. The secrets, hungry ghosts, the curses that go down family lineages, and the illnesses which gravitate toward certain organs and bones.
The dysfunction that serves instead of evolving, and which gets passed on.
I watch as my brothers rage, and control are almost identical to generations past. It never gets witnessed, or the clenched fist opened, and the pain unraveled.
And down it goes, down the family tree.
He couldn’t even acknowledge my partners death, ghosting what doesn’t follow along, or refuses to be abused.
As much as it hurts my heart, I can see the pattern, like a snowflake, or a fractal. I gives a bit of compassion, and even a sense of hope.
Hope because I have seen, how toxic patterns in family lines do change. Slowly. By bringing it out of the shadows. By being sacred witness. By love.
Love and patience, and being witness to the past, withholding judgement.
A soft yet solid protection, a curiosity, yet an enormous aura of sovereignty, and ownership of crown.
That can move the most solid of mountains, and offer solutions of release, and of lighter paths.

Back to my mother, and her growth as a spirit.
I dream of her a few times a week, and we talk. She shows me what she’s learned. I sense she is with family and loved ones. She is watching over me. While I am grieving my partners loss, she holds the kindest space, because she knows.
That has happened to her.
She went mad for a while, and sunk into the madness of grief, of pain, and denial, much to my family’s horror.
It became their pain, too.
Now I see that trait in the lineage.
Luckily, I am allowing my pain, and asking for help, and being kind, and patient with myself.
And she comes around with the kindness that she has, that perhaps she could not muster for herself.
It is so healing.
So healing.
Especially in these Covid quarantine times, when I am alone here, or just with nature.
Nature healed her as well. So did her work.

And my brothers rage? I cannot match it. My life is softer, kinder, because of the work I do, and what I have seen. My organs could not hold that energy. I couldn’t even ask my body to transmute it all, because it goes so far back.
So, energy work it is.

Remember all the good, that your family lineage holds.
The well ones, the radiant ones, are there for you, with only love, and wisdom, and no agenda.
They can help,
just ask.

The well, the true, the radiant ancestors can show you paths you did not know,
to healing waters, and strengths, and fortitude, and joys, and delights, and amazing growth. and change.
And this, you can pass down to your descendants.

A well worn Polish dress, with secret images embroidered into it, showing goddesses, and helpers, and customs, and creation, and answers to questions, and secrets.
So many generations have worn those ancient vestiges, and if you notice carefully, some have hemmed, and re hemmed parts of it, have mended, and washed, and even added to it.
Added its magic and protection. There are rules and ethics on how to be, there are talents, and strengths sewn into the fabric. How to make a way out of no way. There is even how to heal yourself, how to grieve, how to sing to others, how to absorb healing, how to grow, how to build community, how to be sovereign in the face of change.
That is all sewn into your DNA.

You were made out of the love of thousands.

Happy spring, and may those fresh green shoots mirror your own growth, and the growth of all who came before you.
Yes, they can still heal, and grow.
As will you, and yours.
May it be so.

Natalia Rak, muralist, in Białystok, Poland

copyright@helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy2021

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A transfiguring tool with the breath

2/10/2021

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We must be the change we wish to see in this world, to be the light.
Unabashedly.
And yet gently, silently. Be the love.
It’s hard when things aren’t going our way, and amongst the fear and the darkness, around us. And in us.
But once we know, we can’t go back.
We can’t unknow.
Staying in that place of gratitude, and divine love, is a gentle and quiet space, it can be invisible to most, although they will see it in your eyes.
They will sense your aura, because it will be expansive.
Others will sense that, although they will probably not see it.
As a psychic, it may look like the aura of someone in love.
I’m sure you have had that, and that you have sensed that in others.
And you can’t help but be affected by it.
The same with animals, and with plants, with the elementals, and the elements themselves!
You can’t help but be affected by it.

There is always a time out space, though, and there is always the ability to have doubt, and fear, or grief, or resentment.
It is there also. Sometimes these things need to be brought to the surface, and acknowledged, otherwise they will scream for attention, and will show up in other ways.
That is life, and it is not a problem. It doesn’t stop the road you are on of be-ing, of your divine sovereignty.

Yes, this is your divine right, to own your space, and to decide how you wish to run your energy.
it is your choice.
And you get to choose, and re choose, every second, every minute every hour of every day.
You get to wake up in the morning and decide.
You get to be entangled in the world, and react.
And then choose again.
It is a constant awareness, and loss of awareness, of being aware of your sovereignty, and reaffirming that space.
You can show others around you of your choice, and they can choose to uplift as well, but they don’t have to. They have choice too.
It is a gentle showing, and an invite. It is an inward process.
Imagine it as a meditation, of breathing in that light, and being it. That love. That golden energy of the blessing field.
Be it, in that place between breaths, in that short precious pause.
And on the exhale, you can be aware of what isn’t that in your space, acknowledge it, and breathe it out.
It is a wonderful transformative meditation!

It is life affirming, and love affirming. And, on the out breath, you just are aware of the drama, or the anger, or grief, or pain, for example.
Perhaps for only a second or two of that long exhale.
Just try it for a moment.

Breathe in the light, breathe in the love, it is divine, immense, healing! It comes into you, brilliant, glowing.

In-between the inhale and exhale, just become it. No separation.
I AM that. I AM.
You are starlight, you are sunlight. You are that brilliance. You are love.

Exhale now, slowly, and acknowledge anything that appears. Yes, that. I see you. Yes.
Just allow those thoughts, the “yes buts”.
Be witness, let them be heard, be loved, and then allow them to simply drain the extra.
As you do this, your auric field changes, your brain waves slow down, your fight or flight response in your body loses its grip, and your body heals itself.
All of your “yes but” thoughts, (most coming from ego, some from shadow) are heard, and acknowledged.
Some of the ones that require physical action at some point, can have layers and layers of emotional energy drained off of them.
Especially if you do this meditation often, and it becomes a habit.
When those layers drop off, how you react to those thoughts and emotions is very different.
You can hear them, coming from the space of your true self.
You can acknowledge and be witness to them.
And so many of the issues and problems in your life became bigger, as they were filled with layers of fear, and anger, and old beliefs.
Just allow them. Let them tell you. Be there.
And then, inhale.
inhale in the light. Transfigure. Become.

It is an amazing, simple way to transform your energy, and the energy of the space around you.
You will see huge changes by doing something so simple.
It is not spiritual bypassing to become light, and you can act if you need to act…to have healthy boundaries,
to say no,
to get things done,
to handle difficult situations.
But it comes from a different paradigm.

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are"
E. E. Cummings

Transfiguration is beautiful, but it is also empowering, and offers you more choices. And you can do this breathing exercise while taking a walk in nature, upon awakening, while waiting on hold on the telephone, while listening to an upset friend, while being upset yourself.
perhaps remind yourself to do this, by leaving a reminder in places in your home or car. A post it note, a small trinket that reminds you to just breathe with intention.

Take a minute or two to transfigure, and just be that light, the love and the gratitude of that love that you are.
let it be part of your spiritual immune system, your energy hygiene regime. Let it be a tool for your spirits toolbox, and watch how your life changes.

Blessings, and bright moments,
Helena

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A death in the family

12/5/2020

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Wow this year has really been intense, as my life as I’ve known it has been completely unraveled, completely changed, and I, with it.
It started with my mother dying, of Covid, in April, when the pandemic had begun. I spoke with her on Friday, and she had turned a fast corner, and passed on Monday.

When I last saw her in person, she was living at her own home, which I knew was about to change.
I remember saying goodbye to the house, the memories, the chachkis, the old linoleum, the way she had her kitchen table set, her fishpond, the trees, the plants, the stories, oh the many stories, and the love.
I gathered as much love as I could, in my pockets, and gave back to the earth, my gratitude.
At that point, my ancestors were waiting, patiently “for Louise”.
After she passed, I held space for her, energetically, and watched her, as she took her slow journey back home.

I didn’t know then, that my own partner, of 20 years would pass suddenly 5 months later, of cancer.

It all happened so fast, and it was all so very intense. My only job was to care for him, with as much love, and consciousness, and spirit as I could.
It was three weeks, from when we found out, until when he succumbed to his cancer.
What a journey. My friends, and his friends, and all our family held him, held us both in love, and light, and spirit, and that made all the difference in the world.
All of my psychic and shamanic colleagues did also. It was like an amazing net of light, around us both.

Of course it was painful, and scary, for us both, and I did my best to make sure that Terry wasn’t in pain, and felt truly loved the entire time.
I think he felt that.
In three short weeks, we said our goodbyes, and I had to handle so many things, on so many levels, so that his transition was smooth, and righteous, and good.
I think that was accomplished. His family came to visit on a Friday, and he passed the next morning.

I had never been so close to cancer. I had never been so close to death. I spoke with these two beings at great length, until the end, and beyond the end.
I learned so much, about love, and about presence, and about keeping it real (I was playing powerful, spiritual music for his passing, as he was in hospice at home, with me. Then I realized that he doesn’t like my “new age” music, and would be better with his favorite jazz tunes, his John Coltrane, and Dave Brubeck, and Miles Davis.
That was a better send off for him.

I was lucky to be psychic enough to witness the energy around his passing, and afterwards, on his next journey, his next steps, and I am very grateful for him allowing me to witness that.
There was so much love around him the whole time.

Funny, that I finished my teachers program at that time, and the last course, was on Death, and Dying.
I had to be witness, and feel all of that, to help me to be a better teacher, a better wife, friend, and a better human.
I learned and grew, also, by giving up control, and allowing others to care for me, to give to me, and to let myself fall apart, and grieve.

Martin Prechtel is right, in so many ways, that Grief comes from the same muscle as praise, as love. That it is a community thing, not only a silent, alone thing.
Because of Covid, there was no funeral, but there was a Zoom gathering, which really helped with closure, and a place for people to gather, and tell stories, and say goodbye.

After his ashes came back, we gathered at the rocky beach, about an hour away, in the small town of Pescadero. It was a place we loved to go and pick rocks that were worn completely smooth by the rough surf, into beautiful shapes. He chose that spot, and we did a simple, powerful ceremony there, and everyone took a handful of Terry, and let him go, and become the ocean, and the mist, and the rocks.
Some of him, I sprinkled onto an open sea anemone, in a tide pool, that we would have loved to explore together.

I still feel him around, helping, and protecting, and providing, but basically, he is on his way to his next adventure.
I am completely changed.
Filled with both sadness, loss and grief, and a sense that a huge part of me is gone, and also, a strange sense of completion, in that emptiness, as if, like it or not, the next chapter of my life is already in motion.
This has all (of course) brought my own mortality into the front burner. With the work that I do, that is not a problem, but I also know that luck favors the prepared.

As time marches on, I am curious to see who will emerge from this.
Who will I become? Am I already that, and just taking off one more jacket, one more layer?

I am so grateful, to be held in so much love. That makes all the difference.
I have just been witness to such extraordinary things. I am grateful that Terry died without pain, and surrounded by love.
After everyone came for the ocean “send off”, and then left (the house, my space) I was able to settle into aloneness, in a big house.

Then I got Covid, and spent 2 weeks in bed with the flu.
It was almost funny (aside from the uncomfortableness of it all) because I really needed to purge, to completely take care of myself, and, perhaps, just sleep, and sleep, and heal myself.
And that I did.
And, again, friends came to the rescue, delivering soups, and medicine, and flowers and cards… forcing me to see how supported I am.

So now (3 weeks later) I am well, and feeling better every day.
i’m seeing clients again (thank you to everyone who waited!) and slowly getting back into the world. It was only a few months, but it feels like an entire year has just gone by, perhaps more.
I have definitely grown from this, and will grow more as I settle into the next chapter of my life. All of it.

Thank you for being a friend, a colleague, a client, and a part of my amazing journey, our amazing journey.
As Ram Dass said, “We are all just walking each other home”.

Bright moments,

Helena

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Comfort and Joy

8/6/2020

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It’s not what we do, but who we are. It’s how we show up.
How we show up in our friendships, in our family, our relationships, in our business, with our neighbors.
In our spiritual practice.

Being aware of the difference of being completely guarded, to be protected, to be overly protected.
And, yes we need to have our boundaries! That keeps everyone healthy, and helps relationships, and groups that we are in, to have trust.

But too many guards, can be like security guards, can be like our prison guards, and we can lose connection with other people, with nature, and ultimately, ourselves.

Even our own comfort zone, can be like a very comfortable prison, blocking out much needed growth, and experiences.
We nurture our own self worth and esteem, by doing things we are not sure we could do.
As I watch people lately, including myself, I see that the last few months have put people into their comfort zones. There is a lot of anxiety about the future, and a lot of pain, and change, and uncertainty.

So a comfort zone feels really good, feels safe and healing. But it keeps us stuck, and we start to see things from that perspective, which is not really the whole truth.

In an energetic concept, that may mean that we have good psychic protections, good boundaries, including the ability to say no.
We clean our spaces, and become clear, so we can be of service to others, as healers, to the planet, as children of the earth.
It’s wonderful, then, because we feel safe to venture out, to be vulnerable, real, even curious.

And that part of you is needed now.

It brings much value to your work.
It brings much value to the planet, and to your friends.

There are many earth changes now, too, which makes us feel uneasy, a little scared. Easy to revert back, like a turtle, in it’s shell.
The mainstream news is taking advantage of this fear, division, and un-ease, this dis-ease.

It’s good to take breaks from the energy of it, to help you to re-group, and get into balance. It can really help.
Obviously, also, is the wonderful growth, and much needed changes to our systems, our old paradigms that we were living with, or, putting up with, because we weren’t aware of the power of community to change, and to have a voice.
This is all so wonderful, and timely, so healing! We are all walking in new territory now.
And so perhaps the old comfort zone is a bit worn, a bit unraveled at the edges.
Your comfort zone is tired of you, always being there.

Perhaps it is time to examine it, and to create a new zone of comfort?
What would you change about yours?
Take a moment, and take a look.
What do you do that keeps you “safe”, either socially, energetically, in your career, your home, your art, your health, your politics, your methods of doing things. How much you give. Or take. Or ask for help.

Now, a comfort zone is there for a reason, a safe place where we can resort to when we need in times of chaos, or strife, anxiety, or pain, grief, or uncertainty.
Or change.
Change, which is a constant in life.
Change is actually the one thing that we can count on.

So I invite you to take a look at, the energetic “room” which is your comfort zone.
Do a meditation, or journey, where you create a room, see yourself in it, and have a good, slow, conscious look around.

Name 5 things that you do there, have there.
What makes you feel safe?
Who do you hang out with?
What do you wear, or eat, or watch?
Where do you go repeatedly?
What is your spirituality? Your “go to” gods, or meditation?
What do you spend your money on?
Why do you feel safe there?

Name 5 things that you do not do, when you are in your comfort zone.
What big steps?
What do you need to guard?
what are you afraid to lose, if you venture out?
Would there be repercussions?

I think for me it involves physical safety, and sometimes not being seen, or judged. I think I go unconscious, in my way of hoarding things for myself, as if there might be a time I need it, and not enjoying the present. That includes my time, my tools, my sense of adventure, money, even big projects. Travel. Sometimes, it is not telling my truth, or ending a friendship, that is not working anymore.
It is sometimes saving the good parts for last, the good stuff for later, as if my comfort zone thinks there is not enough to go around. Always a what if, keeping me from making big decisions, that my heart already knows the answer to. For me it involves not making decisions, although they could be really good, (but perhaps not. I want guarantees).

Stepping out of it, for me, means taking chances, speaking out for what I believe. Speaking up for myself. It means reaching out, and asking for help.
Doing the work is no problem for me, it’s the getting started. a commitment, a plan.
A decision.
Taking a chance.
It means caring, when I had put up a wall, as to not get hurt. Being afraid, and then doing it anyway.
Being vulnerable.
Being curious.
Many times showing up.
Just. Simply. Showing. Up.

Just like a young child feels safe to venture out and explore, because the safety of the arms of his parents are nearby, we can feel safe because we have our inner core of strength.
We also have the ability to be flexible, to be flexible in that vulnerability.
The world looks different when we allow ourselves to be softer.
As we are more conscious, and through our choices, more real, more present, we can feel safe enough to expand our comfort zone, or, to step out of it, and feel the cool breeze on our face.
Being curious.

It brings much value to your work, and your relationships, including your relationship with nature, and with change.
Remember, that there are parts of you who need the comfort zone, and parts of you who wish to explore.

Everyday,
take a moment,
sit at your deathbed
and see what your dying
self has to say
about your life.

When weighing important options, it is good to do this in meditation or journey. It is one change that is a constant, and not that far off.

So, what would you like to adjust in your comfort zone? Perhaps make it more of a network? Add trust? Be more conscious in there? Make a side door that you can sneak out of?
More positive, and loving self talk? It may help you take some big steps out and on your own.
Walk outside of it, and just notice.
You can always come back in.
Perhaps one day it will not be there.
That comfort zone.

But, you can recreate it.
A different version,
lighter,
breathable,
or, perhaps,
very tiny, like a pearl,
that you can carry easily,
in your heart.

And, besides,
it feels good to feel the breeze on you face, and skin, when you are out of it, and,
outside of it, is where the magic happens!

I am reminded of young Bilbo Baggins, in the Hobbit, when Gandalf the wizard, asked him to come with the team to other lands, for a good cause, and have an adventure.
He grumpily, and fearfully said, safe in his hobbit home,
“Adventure!? Silly things, make you late for dinner!”
But then he went, and things were never the same.
They were much, much better.

And, the Bilbo Baggins at his deathbed (had he gone there to discuss with his future, dying self, beforehand), would have been so proud of him, so happy, relieved, and honored, that he climbed out of his comfort zone, and gone with his trust, encouragement, new friends, and a good horse.
And he lived to return and tell the tale.
He called it, "There, and back again".

May you, may we all, examine the old zone, and update it, renovate it, consciously be there, and consciously leave, and come back again, as there is much magic and adventure in that.

I wish you blessings, of
Comfort, and Joy,

copyright@helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy 2020

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Using your anger to heal your space

7/10/2020

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One of the great things about meditating, and being aware and checking in on your space, is that your emotions are ok.
If they are your emotions.
If they are yours, they were there for a reason, or a message. You can witness, or acknowledge, and then choose.
All emotions are ok.
If it is someone else’s emotion, though, in your space, it is confusing, and difficult. It can seem like it is yours, although there is no beginning, middle or end, and it can appear overwhelming. Unresolvable, indigestible.
I always ask my clients, my students, and myself, “is that your pain? Is that your depression? Your confusion? Your anger?”.
Many times, there is a moment of clarity, an aha! moment, and we get our seniority back.
Sometimes we can use our own energy to flush out the energy of others, and reclaim our own space, even if that means breaking some healing agreements with other people. We can’t solve another’s problem by doing this anyway. We can’t fix them in this way.
Also, sometimes it isn’t one person, but the community, the media and their agenda, or even years of old programming!

So, in this blog we’ll do a short meditation, (or journey) to simply run our own anger throughout our space, like a loop of energy.
We will be grounded to the center of our sweet mother earth, where we can be connected, solid, but also, so that we can release old energies, or other people’s energies, even old agreements, out of our space.
It’s just energy.
The “not you” that you give to the earth will be composted, and transformed into something that can be used for something else.
Your anger is powerful, boundary setting, healthy energy. Sometimes it gets things done. It does rev you up! It will clear your channels out, like Roto-Rooter, as you claim your space.
Notice that you are NOT sending this energy to anyone. You are expressing it, and running it in a loop in your own space.

When you are finished running it, you can run a clear, cool, blue through your space, like a gentle rain, to quench, and calm, and replenish, as much, or as little, as you need.

Remember, that you have a volume control dial, within you. You can turn that up, or, down, as you need to.
So let’s begin.
Get yourself comfortable for your journey, or meditation, and breathe yourself back into yourself. Close your eyes, and see yourself in a small field.
This is your energetic field; the space that contains you.
You might see your protections around the outside of the field, whether it is a picket fence, or shrubs, or a moat, or flowers, like roses.
Sense yourself there.
Sense your space.
Sense and create your grounding, your grounding cord, and make sure it is set on release.
Now put your attention on your belly, on your second and third chakra area, and breathe.
You may see a few different colors of red. Let that be anger. Yours, and other peoples.
Just breathe and notice.

You may start to notice who owns certain colors. One might be your family, or your partner, or the media, or a boss, or a friend. Keep looking, and sensing, until you find your color. Your own color, your own anger.
That’s the healthy stuff.
Now, allow that color to run up your space, out your head, and fountain all around you. Let gravity shower it down around you. Let it flush your face, and flow down your arms, and out your hands.
Let it pulse, and flow through your belly, your spine, your hips, and down your thighs.
Let it go down your legs, ankles and feet, and recirculate again, throughout your body.
Remember that you are owning it, and healing yourself with it. You are reclaiming your space. This anger is yours. This color you have chosen.
You can sense, or see any other anger, that is not yours, as leaving your space, and going down your grounding cord, into the earth.
It will be composted there.
It might teach you something, about what you hold on to.
Feel the power of this energy clearing your space. It has intelligence.
Move out what you need to. Heal yourself.
When you are ready, you can find that volume dial, and turn it down to what feels comfortable for you. And, in your belly, you can intend a calm blue water color to come in, and run through those same channels, healing, and cooling.
This is your anger, and you can use it to heal your self on what level you may need.

When you are ready, breathe yourself fully back into your space, fully present, nourished, and recharged.
Good job on letting go of other peoples anger, too! That stuff is not yours, and too heavy for you.

We have done this in both my psychic meditation class, and also a shamanic journeying class, and it worked in both, with great results.
I’m sure you can also substitute grief, etc to your advantage at another time. This, though, really clears your space, and sets boundaries.
It is also wonderful and wise that your own anger is allowed to be, without sending it out at anyone or anything.
Gentle blessings on your day and your new space!

copyright2020@helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy

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Clearing unconscious energy

6/10/2020

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Clearing away unconscious energy
(Or, burning off the fog bank) to get to the goodies.
In teaching basic meditation 1, Psychic skills class, it is easy to forget to practice every day, because you usually need to break through a layer of fog, called unconscious energy. It is not painful, it’s more like a brain fog, or a fuzzy sleepy feeling”. Sometimes it is a rush of energy…needing to do everything on your chore list first, or, having the environment be perfect.
Like procrastination, it keeps you from settling down, and sitting with what is.

And that sitting with what is, can be a mere few seconds of some emotional discomfort, or, an awareness.
Sometimes is is an emotionally charged “picture”, that’s floating around in your aura.
When you get past that unconsciousness, and start to meditate, and start to clear your space, you “burn off” some of that unconsciousness, the way that the sun will burn off the fog belt, in the bay area coast where I live.
Even after you have gotten into the habit of daily meditation , or “running energy”, even with your best disciplines, you most likely will hit that energy.

Don’t worry, lol, you get used to it. After a few minutes of your chattering thoughts, and your squirming body, your spirit starts to come back into the body from wherever it was. Perhaps it was in the past, or the future, or still at work, or stuck on a pain picture.
I promise you, that your patience will pay off, and you will start coming in for a landing, back into that beautiful body of yours. You will get a sweet healing, and become much clearer, and grounded than before.
You will start to release that fuzzy unconscious energy, and your body will start to settle down. Soon the avoidance of looking at a piece of pain that you have, or, an awareness of truth, will lessen, and you will make a landing, into your body, like an experienced pilot lands his small plane.
And that is where the magic happens.

Sometimes, all I can do is sit there, with my eyes closed, getting ready to meditate, and explode roses for unconscious energy. Blow roses* for procrastination.
Blow roses* for the fact that someone else energy jumped into my space, and it kicked me out a little.
Don’t resist, just blow roses*. Don’t try. Don’t judge. Just start running your energy, and be patient.

Don’t believe all the thoughts and emotions that you are receiving. Don’t match the energy of unconsciousness. Don’t go to sleep. Don’t eat a box of cookies instead of running your energy.
(Save them as a treat, for afterward, when you are feeling clear, energized, and embodied. Then you can share them with a friend)!

When I learned this method of clearing my space in meditation, I was also taught to keep it simple…to be in kindergarten.
You lose it, you find it, you lose it again. No problem.
Don’t forget to laugh at yourself, to be patient, as your spirit comes in for a landing.
And yes, those golden suns, and blowing roses will burn off the grey “fog bank’ of energy.
It is so worth it, for the clarity, neutrality, grounding, and the lightness of being you will have afterwards.
Your body will trust you more, and the foreign energy will run! Well, ok, maybe the foreign energy will slink away, giving you the stink eye, but hey, it will be gone!

Another gift of flying in through the fog bank of energy, is that perhaps that uncomfortable emotion, or painful picture has a message for you, and acknowledging it could be important, or freeing, or both.
It could be nothing more than some sadness in your space. Or, someone else sadness in your space. Or competition. Or a being. Keep blowing roses. Give a nice, big, fat hello to it!
Hello! Hello someone else's harsh competition energy! I always go into pain and guilt about it because of my childhood wounding, and try to heal it. Let me just sit with that for a moment. Let me de-charge all of that. (I am not matching the energy, I am just noticing, and acknowledging). Blowing roses.
So, that is what all the fuss is about? Some womans competition threw me off center, because it reminded me of something 50 years ago?
Blowing roses, for the initial pain from when I was a young child, and thought I would get abandoned.

Fog bank is lifting. I can feel the relief, to lighten the load of a very stuck picture, a very old one. Now I have some freedom, and some wiggle room.
Filling up with my own energy now. The meditation is going smoother, and I can come back in for a landing.

I feel better, and I have more choices, rather than react from an old wound, which was floating around in my space, making me feel icky.

The woman throwing competition is not a threat, or even a bother, as I have many choices now. I can be amused. I can be neutral. I can hum a tune as I move her energy out of my space.
It didn’t have much to do with me anyway, it had to do with her own wounding.
That gives me a lot more room to be, and a lot more clarity, and forgiveness.

Still running energy, and blowing roses. It is starting to feel so clear, with the energy flowing through my channels.
My third chakra, my stomach area, feels so much more at ease.
I can even laugh at myself, as I end my meditation, and energy work. My channels feel clear, as does my spinning chakras, and I feel happily planted in my body.
Filling up with another golden sun to replenish, and I will end my meditation.
Ahh.
And hey, weren’t there some cookies? Lol

Enjoy your day, and enjoy getting clear!
Remember to stay in patience, and kindergarten, and run your energy everyday!
If you don’t know this form of running energy meditation, I highly recommend it. I teach it frequently (check the website), and there are many other practitioners who do also.
Blessings!

*Blowing roses is a term created by founder Lewis Bostwick, who uses an image of a rose, to hold the energy of something, either to look at it in neutrality, or to decharge the energy of it, by exploding it, sometimes repeatedly.
destroying the charge on it can help in numerous ways.
Time to take a class, or sit, and use your tools?
The possibilities are endless.

helenamazzariello/spiritinjoycopyright 2020

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Sovereignty in Flux

5/11/2020

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Part of having sovereignty, that space of knowingness, of certainty, and safety, and ownership of who you really are, is the ability to come from, to act from, react from, and see the world from that place. To walk the talk.
Who are you when you are in your sovereignty?
What I have come to know, and am still in process of learning, is that having feelings, and experiencing them makes you stronger, and more of a warrior, than if you didn’t.
That means pain, isolation, or a “setpoint” consciousness, or that gut feeling that tells you that something is not right.
It could be a knowingness.
Perhaps, a knowingness, that you are off track, off target, and adjusting.
When, with a client, and you are looking at the world through your pain picture, or outdated belief structure, for example.
I find this when doing a reading for someone, or during a shamanic session.
If, in a space of protection, or ownership of your space, you are wound too tightly, or your crown is too filled with preconceived notions, you may find that you are missing the point.
It is one of the reasons that I love the Berkeley Psychic Institute style of reading, because (if done well) you are always in flux, you are always freeing yourself from stuck, old belief patterns, or fears, that keep you from fully being alive, growing, and being well, as a spirit in a body.
What that means for your sovereignty, your ownership of your space, (which includes all 4 bodies) is that it moves, and changes, and is always changing.
It is in a state of flux, as you are in the process of being annealed. You, by your realizations of who you are, and who you are not, are growing and changing, taking steps up, and evolving.
That means that your protections are changing, including what you are protecting yourself against.
What are your protections, when you have a belief picture in your space, that everyone is out to get you? What are your sovereign entitlements, and how does it help you, if you have a picture of guilt, or being unworthy? Do you radiate less light? As you work on yourself, and clear yourself, you start to see the world differently.
And, the world may react differently.
When you see how each of us are artists, and we each paint our own picture of “the truth”, even your own belief system, your own truth, is in a state of flux.

If you have read “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, you may be interested to know that there is a fifth one, about discernment.
All of these agreements are quite freeing, and will change how you see your place in the world.

"The fifth agreement is be skeptical, but learn to listen.
Be skeptical because most of what you hear isn’t true. You know that humans speak with symbols and that symbols are only the truth because we agree, not because they are really the truth.
But the second half of the agreement is learn to listen, and the reason is simple: When you learn to listen, you understand the meaning of the symbols that people are using; you understand their story, and the communication improves a lot.
Once you realize that hardly anything you know through symbols is true, then being skeptical has a much bigger meaning. Being skeptical is masterful because it uses the power of doubt to discern the truth. Whenever you hear a message from yourself or from another artist, simply ask: Is it truth, or is it not truth? Is it reality or is it a virtual reality? The doubt takes you behind the symbols and makes you responsible for every message you deliver and receive. Why invest your faith in any message that is not true? By being skeptical, you don’t believe every message; you don’t put your faith in symbols, and when your faith is not in symbols, your faith is in yourself.
To have faith is to believe without a doubt, and to doubt is to be skeptical. Don’t believe all the stories that we artists create with our knowledge. You know that most of our knowledge isn’t true, so don’t believe me, don’t believe yourself, and don’t believe anybody else.
The truth doesn’t need you to believe it; the truth simply is, and it survives whether you believe it or not. Lies need you to believe them. If you don’t believe lies, they don’t survive your skepticism, and they simply disappear.
But skepticism can go in two directions. One way is to pretend to be skeptical because you think you’re too smart to be gullible. “Look at how intelligent I am. I don’t believe in anything.” This is not skepticism. To be skeptical is not to believe everything you hear, and you don’t believe because it’s not the truth, that’s all.
The way to be skeptical is just to be aware that the entire humanity believes in lies. You know that humans distort the truth because we are dreaming, and our dream is just a reflection of the truth.
Every artist distorts the truth, but you don’t need to judge what somebody says, or call that person a liar. All of us tell lies in one way or another, and it’s not because we want to lie. It’s because of what we believe; it’s because of the symbols we learned, and the way we are applying all of those symbols. Once you are aware of this, the fifth agreement makes a lot of sense, and it can make a very big difference in your life.
People will come to you and tell you their personal story, their point of view, what they believe is truth. But you won’t judge if it’s truth or if it’s not truth. You don’t have any judgment, but you do have respect. You listen to the way other people express themselves, knowing that whatever they say is nothing but a story distorted by their beliefs. You know that because you can feel it. You just know. But you also know when their words come from truth, and you know without words, and that’s the main point.
Truth or fiction, you don’t have to believe anyone’s story. You don’t have to agree or disagree. Just listen. The more impeccable a person is with the word, the clearer the message will be, but the words that come from another artist have nothing to do with you. It’s nothing personal. You listen and you understand all the words, but the words no longer affect you. You no longer judge what other people say because you understand what they are doing. They are only letting you know what is going on in their virtual world.
All artists live in their own dream, in their own world. In that world, whatever they perceive is truth for them, and it could be that it’s absolutely true for the artists who are expressing their story, but it’s not truth for you. The only truth for you is what you perceive in your world. With this awareness, there’s nothing to prove to anyone. It’s not about being right or wrong. You respect whatever somebody says because respect is so important. When you learn to listen, you show respect for other artists, you show respect for their art, for their creation.
All artists have the right to create their art in whatever way they want. They have the right to believe whatever they want to believe; they have the right to say whatever they have to say, but if you don’t learn to listen, you will never understand what they’re saying. When you learn to listen, you know exactly what other people want. Once you know what they want, what you do with that information is up to you."

All of us, especially healers, and those in the helping services, need good ownership of our crown, and the wisdom in action of our sovereignty, our divine right to have our space in a state of wholeness.
But don’t put on a one size fits all crown.
Allow your space to grow, and expand, as you do, as your spirit, and your personality, and your clientele does.
It can be like a dance, and not just a contract, or form that you fill out.
It is, an agreement, however.

I can liken it to a politician, or teacher, or a person in power. Even a beauty pageant winner, lol.
What do they do, with this power?
Are they being of service? Are they self serving? Does their crown bend, and change, and grow with them?
Look at your ownership of your power, and your crown, now, and where you were 10 years ago.
Luckily, it was those mistakes that helped you along the way! Those realizations, or the letting go of unnecessary armor, or old pictures of survival, or victimhood, or control.
Perhaps it was the standing up for yourself.
Or, of the asking for help, and the softening.
Or using helpers, and guides.

"Your crown has been bought and paid for. Put it on your head and wear it." ~ Maya Angelou

Your discernment, in your life, and the “mistakes”, and changes leading up to that discernment, have become the rubies, and the pearls, and the emeralds, and the diamonds which adorn your crown.
And, it is not a contract or agreement, which is written in stone, but one that is fluid, and allows for change, as you do, and as we all do.
A crown of sovereignty, and of power, and protection, which lasts through time, and both has a purpose, and, also, just is.

helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy copyright 2020

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Acknowledge what is

4/2/2020

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These are indeed strange times, and strange days, and I am grateful for them, as it has opened my eyes, ears, and heart, and crown, to what is around me.
Grateful to be working from my home, and I am doing readings, and healing sessions, daily. It is, in a way, my daily practice of mindfulness. And also my use of compassionate vision.
As the world slows down for people, they either go into the future, and rehearse everything going wrong, and all their fears jump to the forefront, or, they stay in the present moment, seeing, and hearing things, that they previously have shut off, or, turned way down.
And what shows up, is what’s right in front of them.
And it may not be pretty.
But that’s ok.
The truth is right there, it has been there the whole time.
Just like your shadow self.
All those things you have been too busy to look at, or acknowledge, or created such busy-ness, and driven-ness, and such oh so important diversions, well, they are just sitting right there, next to you.
They have been there the whole time.
But you knew that.

Sometimes we give too much power, to the things that we are afraid of, or, that make us uncomfortable. Perhaps we are uncomfortable, because, we feel not ready to handle it, or to make that big change, or, just don’t have what it takes to change our lives in such a big way.
Maybe it means more work for us, or, to “step up to the plate”, or to show up more, in our lives.

This is one of the great things about our usual, normal, busy and very full lifestyle.
And here we are, all quarentined, with lots of extra space, and time.
To notice.
To feel.
To be curious.
There may be something tugging at your heart.
Or, your mind.
Or, your consciousness.
Or, your shadow self.
Maybe something is not right.
Something needs to change.
And now, it thinks it has a chance to get your attention.
That’s right.
You just looked, a little bit.

And all the love and light meditations, and all the worrying and caring for others in this crazy time, and all the global pain, and fear, and craziness, and oh my Goddess, this is out of control, or
conspiracy theories, or end of the world scenarios, can’t really hide the fact, that something needs to be looked at, and now, right now, you have some time to do that.

Well, first off, you don’t have to change your pleasant, comfortable life, immediately. But, it is so much healthier, to allow things to bubble up from the unconscious, for you to see, or know, or be aware of. Believe me, if your spirit wanted you to get it, it could come flying at you, in a big way, to get your attention, like an illness, an accident, or, an event. Better to have it come through you, rather than at you.

Saying hello to it, and acknowledging it, is healthy, as is, perhaps, having a conversation with it.

What could it be? Maybe that you need to exercise more, your body is screaming at you. Or, you are hanging out with the wrong people, they are toxic. Or, that your creativity, simply cannot be bottled up anymore. Or, that you are withholding kindness.

So let’s do that meditation now, and stop avoiding, and have a simple, and curious look.
Just breathe, and slow down, and breathe into that beautiful body of yours. You can imagine yourself surrounded, and contained, in a bubble of sacred space, of light, and be grounded. Connected to the earth, like long roots.
Just take one, long deep breath, after another, and close your eyes for a moment, and be in that space, behind your eyes. Be in that room, in the center of your head. And just breathe.
Your intention is to slide down, slide your consciousness down, into your heart space, and allow all the noise, and distraction, and busyness, and thoughts, to subside, for a bit.
Breathe, and feel safe, and present, and go into that quiet space of the heart.
Perhaps you only hear your soft heartbeat, reminding you of where you are, and that you are ok, that you are safe, and grounded. And that you love yourself. And breathe. And relax your shoulders, and feel the weight of your body, sitting quietly, where you are.
In that quiet heart space, allow, just allow, small bubbles to rise up and float up around you, as if you are immersed in water, comfortable, clear, clean water. You can see the few tiny bubbles billowing up and past you.
And breathe, and hear the sound of your hearts beating, as you relax, and become curious.
And your curiosity, lets you put your finger on one of those tiny bubbles, just one.
As the bubble pops, it allows itself to be heard by you. It is your own voice, or, perhaps an image, or something that has been trying to get your attention. It has tried to get your attention, to be heard, but you were so busy. So much distraction.
Breathe, and be curious, and listen.
Perhaps there is a feeling with the message. Perhaps not. It can be very strong, or, a simple message, or feeling.
Choose a simple one right now. Maybe something you are dreaming about needs to be attended to, some creative project. Maybe your heart has wanted your attention, to speak up about something, important to you. To take a stand, or have a boundary. This is a simple thing, contained in a bubble, that wants your attention.
‘Notice all the flowers in your garden. We give you joy!”
“I need a break from that depressed person I’m around, I can’t fix them”.
“Please, please, can we do something fun, can we make a sculpture? We have time!”
“I need to ask for help on this thing. I need to talk with someone who knows.”
"I am still grieving the loss of something/someone. I need to get away, and cry a bit.”
“It’s time to let go of this. I need space."
“I need to get back into the joy of life."
“I really love the earth”. I miss her beauty, and the smells and sounds of nature."
Just breathe, and allow that one bubble to be absolutely heard.
You have stopped all the chatter, and all the business.
Thank you. I hear you.
Thank you for that.
Perhaps just put your hand on your heart, as you start to come out of this short meditation. Breathe, and be aware of your body, and stretch a bit. You will feel much more relaxed, as you go about your day. A part of you has felt heard. Validated.
You may wish to do something about what you saw, felt, or heard, right away, but perhaps not.
Maybe just write it down for yourself. Or tell a friend about your thought, or idea. Or let that feeling of sadness, or grief, or anger, be with you today. Just let it walk around and be with you.
You don’t need to distract yourself from it today, as you go about your day.

Sometimes, amazing things can happen, from a simple acknowledgement of what is.
It is the beginning of a very good thing. A simple hello can change everything.

So now, we can go about our day, being in the present moment a bit more, a bit softer, and a bit wiser.

Many gentle blessings on your day,
be well, be curious,
be here.

We do not become healers.
We came as healers. We are.
Some of us are still catching up to what we are.
We do not become storytellers.
We came as carriers of the stories
we and our ancestors actually lived. We are.
Some of us are still catching up to what we are.
We do not become artists. We came as artists. We are.
Some of us are still catching up to what we are.
We do not become writers.. dancers.. musicians.. helpers.. peacemakers. We came as such. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.
We do not learn to love in this sense.
We came as Love. We are Love.
Some of us are still catching up to who we truly are.
- A Simple Prayer for Remembering the Motherlode by Clarissa Pinkola Estes from The Contemplari manuscript ©2009

helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy copyright 2020

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That's not your energy

3/8/2020

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People can take on many energies from others, including those we care about the most. Sometimes complete strangers can catch you off guard too. You may not expect it, and so were not prepared.
Another reason why I love the tools of sovereignty, and protection. Psychic meditation means knowing yourself, so that when something very different, or foreign enters your space, your energy field, you are aware of it.

If a very strong or powerful emotion comes up, and doesn’t go away, perhaps seems overwhelming, take a look, and say hello to it. It might not be your energy.
Another reason for running energy everyday, and a great reason also, for energy checks…. I would call them wellness readings, from colleagues. They focus on your energetic tools, the way a mechanic would do a diagnostic on your car. Even the mentioning of something foreign in your field, could help you as a spirit remove it, become senior to it (seniority is another word for sovereignty, that oh so important tool).

It may also help you understand it, or, lighten up about it. Very serious energy focused on something tends to make it stuck. Looking at something in a light hearted, and amused way, helps you to move the energy easier.
I see it like very hard, cold honey, or, honey that is warmed up, and flowing.

You may appreciate this story. Today, I had two clients for long readings come to my home. The first ones reading was gifted by her aunt. I read her first, and then the second woman, the aunt, received hers.
She didn't have a question, "just read what you see".
So, she said her full name a few times, and I took a look.

She was ok, but, there was a large, heavy, grey mass of energy swirling in front of her belly, and heart. I saw that it was the death energy, of someone who was dying, perhaps a friend. The dying woman was freaking out about it, and her energy, and some of the beings showing up for her, were in her torso area. It was freaking this womans body out, and putting her in fear, sometimes intense fear.
I told her that, (gently), and she replied that it was spot on. Her friend (of a very tight circle of friends, of many decades) was indeed dying. She had just seen her in a SF hospital, where her ALS was taking its toll.
I started to tell her other ways she could be a good friend, and care for her friend, without taking this stuff on in her space.
Then, the wind chimes that were in the room starting chiming loud.
"That's her", she said.

I proceeded to have a long, loving conversation with the dying woman, telling her how loved she is, and that, when she is ready, all of her guides, and psychopomp beings, and her soul guide are waiting there for her, and she doesn't need to fear. That the energy in (my clients) space is too much for her, and she will need all of her essence, for when the time is right. And that also, the beings that are around her (that had been around her in her life) cannot go with her, they need to transcend, and that they must leave my clients space as well.
There was an energy shift in the room, and my client said she felt a strong hard knot in her stomach, and then felt it leave. There was a palpable shift in the air, the wind chime stopped moving, and it felt peaceful, and light.

My client was relieved. She didn't expect any of this.
"You know, I did have a massive panic attack a couple of days ago, and I never ever have them".
"Yes. That's because the panic attack wasn't yours".

I guess the strangest part of this story, (more than the wind chimes going) is that I saw "death energy" in my clients stomach, and not "her friends energy". It was heavy. They (both) left feeling really light. It was validating to witness the simple act of someone being very afraid to die, jumping into a loving close friends arms, not knowing what that meant.

We all got something from that reading, and, my client became very aware that energy, and emotion that is anothers could feel like your own.
When you check your inner landscape daily, it is so much easier to notice something that feels off, or different, and you can acknowledge it in the very beginning, helping your body to feel safe, and saving you a lot of time, and stress.
Remember your amusement, too, as it keeps things simple, and keeps your tools lubricated.

copyrighthelenamazzariello/spiritinjoy2020

Let me know if you need an energy check, or a reading on your inner landscape,
and gentle blessings your day.
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That space, before creating

2/6/2020

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That space before creation happens.
Well, you can call it creating, or call it making your mockups, or attracting something into your field of energy, or vibrating like the thing that you want.
What I am looking at is right before that. and, a little bit before that.
You know, when things just seem all wrong, or all you see is what you do not want. Maybe you don’t know what you want, or, don’t know how to get into the space of creating what you do want. That level of discontent.
It’s actually such a powerful place. Our discontent shows us so much. And, you must have it to feel the urge to grow. It’s necessary to progress. It is a restlessness.

Sometimes people react in an unexpectedly extreme way, to the discontent they have been sitting in, or is all around them. Something jolts them to finally make a change, and it may be great, and may be a bit harsh.
A polarity.
And then there is the opposite, like the frog in the water getting hot slowly, then starting to boil. He hardly noticed it, as it was very slow.
In that, I mean, that you adapt, or put up with your uncomfortableness, or restlessness, and miss your mark, creation wise. Nothing happens, and you either accept it as the new normal, or sink into that atheist energy of “I can’t create, as a spirit”.
That place, just before you get off your chair, and make something happen, is a pretty awesome place, even though it can be uncomfortable.
Artists know it. That place before inspiration kicks in. The blank page can be exciting.
There is a restlessness, before the discontent.
That is a good time to go into the void, to explore the yearnings, and notice the energy, and be still, and sit with it.
I promise you, that the magic will happen.
Because we really don’t create from nothing. You have been creating all along. You have all the tools. You are just waiting for the wave, to come along, like a surfer, so you can do what it is that you love.
It’s quite the yin experience, that yielding, that being with it.

I think that that place is a good place to start, when you want a change, but not sure what.

Remember, if you don’t dream your own dreams, you will end up a player in someone else dream!

Maybe being clear about what you don’t want (anymore) can help you define that restlessness, and the act of destroying (either physically, or energetically) gives you space, and permission.

I am aware, also, that there are times that a big explosion needs to happen, to level the playing field. Perhaps you need a change, and have set the bar way too low for a while, or, feel like you don’t deserve, or feel a victim to life circumstances, or just have to release a lot of pent up energy, or emotion, or stickiness. You need a big loud something.
That is a great time to do some destroying.

Destroying something feels great! It moves energy!

Smash things, yell into the silence, release something, declutter, end something.
My friend used to get a stack of plates at the thrift store, and then come home and yell, and purge and smash them all.
(In a safe container to do that in).
I recommend getting a dozen raw eggs, and write on them with permanent marker, breathe the energy into them, and then smash them with abandon, in the shower or sink.

In psychic meditation, you blow up the mental image of a rose. You can put something with a strongly charged energy on this rose, and then explode it. Sometimes it takes a few times, to de-charge something.
Destroying things clears the field, and actually lifts up the energy, so you can create. Or, changes the space, so you can allow.

Some people just thrive on that feeling of restless discontent, and strive to get that rush of something new. Some people abhor change, and can’t quite get to those places to change their lives, even though they have a craving for more.

I am watching so many of my friends, and clients make announcements of big sweeping changes they are making, like selling everything, and moving to another country.
There are some that are creating workshops to teach in, going back to school for a deeper education, and creating grand new art forms, and grand new relationships, never before considered. Nice, big, fat leaps, into the unknown.
But…
the past few months, had everyone struggling, and discontented, even blaming, and then sitting.
Just sitting, quietly, with what is. and, allowing.
Just being with it. That yearning, and restlessness.

A good journey, or meditation, could be to just be in the void, the safe deep blackness, and vastness of the void. You could come with your restlessness, and your yearning, and just sit. Sit with it, just be, and see what comes up, before taking any action.
Being in that space of awareness of what is, being present to it, gets you centered, and that gives you choices, as to how to respond.
Create from that space first. Decide the type of energy you want your creation to come from.
Effort? No effort? Help from others? Enough of what you need? Support? Co creating?

The rest will come much smoother, with synchronicity, will be divinely guided. Even the uncomfortable parts, the destroying parts, the squeezing yourself into the new you, that can have it.
And, indeed you shall!
You have the tools you need, and you are enough.

Enjoy creating! Perhaps I’ll see you in the void!
Helena

copyright@helenamazzariello/spiritinjoy 2020

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You are from a resilient ancestral line

A transfiguring tool with the breath

A death in the family

Comfort and Joy

Using your anger to heal your space

Clearing unconscious energy

Sovereignty in Flux

Acknowledge what is

That's not your energy

That space, before creating

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