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A year of massive growth

9/25/2025

It has been a year, since my last newsletter, and article. I took a break from teaching classes, but have been busier than ever with readings, and shamanic healings.
I have also been taking many, many courses in psychology, to become more trauma informed.
I took more classes in Ancestral Healing, Writing with the Ancestors, even re took courses in AH because I am different now, than I was then.
I just finished a few courses in IFS (Internal Family systems) and I use all of this in my work now. Just started another course!
More than that, I wanted to study trauma, and the treatment of it, to better help my clients. In the quest to become more trauma informed, I learned a lot about myself, including the fact that I have been a people pleaser, a fawner, as a trauma response.
We all have some response, whether fight or flight, collapse, etc, and they worked for us then, even now, but I have been learning to curb it, to speak out, to value my own needs first.
That is a lot harder than it sounds, and as I continue to do that, all of my inner parts (IFS) feel a lot safer.
All parts are being explored, nourished, validated, and are coming into present time.
This helps me to be a better person, a better friend, and a better healer, reader, practitioner.
The other thing I have done in this past year, was to get two housemates, in the form of Burmese kittens (who are now a bit over one year old. I have loved and been the caretaker of many Burmese in my life; they are my favorite, in their intelligence and loving capacity.
The preparation of my home for two whirlwind Tasmanian devils to arrive helped to bring my house into present time, and my home into present time.
Terrys office room, which was in the middle of the house itself, got a complete makeover, and is now the boyz room, an office, and an extra bedroom for guests.
I painted it, and my own bedroom, completely different colors than my normal, and completely decluttered them.
That, and the sweet addition of this bonded pair, were the perfect medicine.

Both my inner, and my outer world got a makeover this past year.
I am still committed to being the best healer I can be, and the best teacher, but I needed to upgrade, and let go of worn out beliefs, habits, and limits, and add more joy, and delight in between my work.
I also had a small drum circle at my home, weekly, or every other week, over the summer. It was wonderful, I learned a lot as well as went deeper into my practice.
The boyz were in the room each week, as they love being in between worlds, and they see so much! They will lay next to someone while they journey, or climb on someone’s heart right after they received a soul retrieval, and are in the quiet space of receiving and expanding that light.

Worth expressing also, is that I have done quite a bit of both energy work, and fundraising for the Palestinian people, in the midst of a genocide in their beautiful country.
I raised a good deal of funds by offering past life readings to people, and a healing, that had to do with war. When you died in a war. were the abuser in a war. Lost a child. Were a child killed in a war. Watched your family die. Both sides.
So much. healing, to bring up these hidden traumas that run us, or shadow us, and gently hold space for, and heal.
The monies raised went to the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund.
I also did (and do) energy work, and ancestral work in that regard.
I work on the astral, both for Palestine, and before that, for Ukraine.
Oh the stories I could tell.
Mostly, I show up as a tiny ball of light, and go to where there is a team that tells me what is needed to be done.
In Ukraine, especially in the beginning, I was to stay at the train station, helping people find each other, helping lost pets find their owners, helping someone get safely on the correct train to meet up with loved ones, etc.
It was such a panic, and how can you leave your home without taking your cat or dog with you?
In Palestine, I was mostly at a hospital called Al Shifa. I would be asked to protect a doorway, or entertain the children, or keep the electricity on (or off). Simple tasks.
Watching it be destroyed with people inside was one of the hardest things.
Seeing the selflessness of these hungry and traumatized people, the caring of others, was the best.
The rest of my year was making and maintaining a big garden, many fruit trees, and planting many more, and putting up fences to keep cats in, racoons and coyotes out. There is much maintenance of 3/4 acre and 3 buildings, which I am honored to do. My favorite pine tree had to be cut down, but a bench was made from her trunk, and 5 pine seedlings are the hope of her future.
This was a strange year where there were deer coming in, eating everything.
My clumsy attempts at keeping them out of the garden, etc. would only work for a few days, and then there was another location to barricade. A bit like Coyote and Road Runner! I had a great harvest, and shared a couple of gallons of apple cider with friends, for my birthday celebration.
And now, here we are, passing the Autumnal Equinox, and it has been raining outside today, and a Pacific Chorus frog outside my door is calling out in the joy of humidity.
The eclipses that came and went showed us the true meaning of being in both light, and dark, and the importance of that.
I am so grateful for you all, and I hope I can help in some way, with clarity from a reading or balance and freedom from a healing session.
Please feel free to read other articles I have written, as there are good tools in there for you.
Blessings, and bright moments!

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Inspire me!

6/19/2024

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I am so grateful for those of you who shine, regardless. You are nourishment to the planet, and raise its vibration. Our vibration. And now is a great time; we need your light.
Most young children just shine naturally. As do many young animals, and creatures of all kinds.
I spend a great deal of time outdoors, including my yard, garden, and the creek.
So many nests, and babies of all kinds. Fledglings, newly transformed frogs, small fish, tiny fence lizards, they are all making their way, just learning to fly, feed themselves, adventure out alone.
Tasting things. Finding shade. Finding sun.
I just love their inquisitiveness, their light, and its reminds me of my own.
Shamanism is a form of animism, in that all things have a spirit, a consciousness.
The bubbling of water in a spring. The strong wind. The fig tree. Spiders.
The spirit of the land right under your feet.
You can borrow it's power, walk with it, merge with it.
The same thing with light.
As shamanic practitioners, and healers we become light, we are light.
In that space, we heal ourselves, get to know our vast power, and possibilities.
Seeing another in their divine and sacred light: whole, radiant, vibrant. That observance is the healing.
It is called Transfiguration, and is one of my favorite things to teach, and favorite ways to heal myself, and another.
I had to relearn to shine my light as an adult. While I always had that childlike innocence, my light was too bright for some, and I learned to turn it down. To make them more comfortable.
That can have an energetic cost, I have learned.
Trying to fit in, and be "normal".
I honor that light in you. To shine, unabashedly. With aplomb.
The way baby foxes, and fledgling birds do. They just are.
The way people in love do.
In the law of Attraction, you receive more of how you vibrate.
Not what you think about, or wish for.
How you are vibrating.
I invite you to watch the beings around you who shine, who are living inspiration.
They are walking love letters.

Now, I don't mean spiritual bypassing. Feel all your feelings, let them flow through you, and not get stuck.
Act on things that are unjust. Speak your mind, and your feelings.
Be rage, if it is what is necessary for justice, for peace.

Be an inspiration to others by how you show up in this world.

Have courage, even if it means to leave the crowd, the group, the old friendships if necessary. Sometimes we need to do that, to individuate. Watch the animals to learn about courage.

Be courage. Radiate that.

Please, you are so needed, and your light and inspiration can jumpstart others.
Animals don't think about it. They just are, it is their life force.
There is something we can do (I learned from my psychic studies), instead of trying to change people around you, or heal them, so that you can take your step up. You just vibrate as a spirit, your next step. The one you are growing into. As you take a step up in your courage, your light, or how much you can have, for example, you just walk into the room as that. Vibrating as that. Psychics believe that we see the world through pictures, and communicate with each other all the time through pictures, and sometimes telepathically.

So, show a picture, to the others, just at the edge of your aura (where your protections are, your gold or white light egg, etc). Let that picture show that, "hey, this is great, and you can have this too, if you wish. Jump in, the water is fine".
That invitation, to another is so wonderful, so inspiring, like being a love letter to others.

You don't need to dim your light, lower your havingness*, hide your courage, or your crazy love for yourself, for others, for this incredible planet we love so much.

The qualities of being there ARE the steps to getting there.
The steps to getting there ARE the qualities of being there.

Inspire me!

And, if you feel stuck, or need to give yourself permission to get out of your rut, your fears, or your spiritual bypassing, just watch others who radiate at those things, of love, of courage, of grace. Those who are doing it.
They just are. Lean into it, and feel the freshness on your face. Feel how your body reacts to that sacred invitation, that way of being. That way of showing up, of how you see life. You always get to choose again, every second of every minute of every day.

*Havingness = the ability and permission that you, a capable spirit in a body, can "have", (to create, destroy, and then recreate, and own) whether that means health, abilities, wealth, miracles... you decide.

copyright@Spiritinjoy/HelenaMazzariello2024

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Look for the helpers

3/20/2024

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It’s been a couple of months since my last blog, and in that time I have grown, evolved, and done what I could to stay sane with the horror of genocide in full swing, and to help as best I could.
This post is not about me, though, it is about all the helpers.
Those on social media sharing information, those donating to organizations that can help.

Those that help post truthful articles, with supporting documentation, citing the Authors and original posts.
Hundreds of journalists have been killed since the last post.

Thousands more children.
many thousand more women, and men.

I was doing past life trauma readings (and healings) for people around me, having to do with war, being the oppressed, the oppressor, those who couldn't speak out (and donating the proceeds to Meca, or Palestinian Children’s Relief fund), I have managed to donate a good amount to help.

It has helped the clients clear and release pain and fear, and hopefully help them speak their truth.

At what point does this horror end?
My country is paying for it, telling the same lies on the news about why.
A bit like gaslighting, what a narcissist does.
It is so they do not take any responsibility for their actions.
It can make you wonder about your own certainty, if you are not careful.

But, when you see the helpers, everyone around the world, who is just as outraged and horrified as you are, it gives you hope.
Hope.
All of the protests, all over the world.
Hope.
Those who take their young children to those protests, and gently and respectfully explain why they are both there.
Hope.
Even though two weekends ago, the Zionists were in NY and NJ Jewish temples, selling real estate; plots of land that are Palestinian lands that have been bombed.
Beach Front Property.
In the holocaust, there were piles of shoes, of jewelry, hoarded, from the victims sent into the gas chambers.
there were even gold fillings, in piles, from the skulls of those who were killed in numbers.

Beach front property.

I apologize to those of you who are used to me posting supportive, and inspiring spirit and light filled writings, but I think that this is important right now.
It’s important, to be absolutely present in the face of this.
It’s like, we have one shot at this.

You have chosen to be here on the planet at this time, and you have gifts to offer, healing to hand out, healing to receive.
It is the capable ones who carry us through these times.

Please don’t put tape over your mouth, or stick your fingers in your ears.
We need you to see, with eyes open.
I know it hurts.
I have to take breaks sometimes.
I cry deeply everyday.
I have also learned a great deal these past few months, about politics, about fake spiritual people,
about beholdened politicians,
about how some people choose rage at others, instead of feeling deeply their feelings of pain, horror, injustice.
Some people just stay in their head, not feeling much, but wanting to argue facts instead.

There is a poet, named Mosab Abu Toha, a Gazan.
His words, and his real time information, mixed with the incredible art of poetry, are like a balm to your burning eyes, your breaking heart, in these times of genocide.
He has written a book called, “Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear”.

I highly recommend reading, or listening to him reading it.
City Lights Books, here in SF, did a poetry reading of his book. It was online, and well as live (he and young family are safe in Egypt right now). His home and the library his family had are destroyed, so many of his friends gone in these past few months, as well
He read some work, and other poets came one by one to read a piece of his.
I will post a video of something of his for you to watch.

Somehow, it gave me nourishment to continue to listen to facts, to try to help in what way I can (sometimes, it is just about posting on social media. Sometimes it is doing energy work, where I am needed).
If you can please do something, whether it is to feel your pain, or your rage about this issue, or to stand up and speak your truth about it.

Of all those past life readings I did for people about war, trauma, etc, what kept coming up for people was the pain of being afraid to speak up.
Afraid of what governments would do to them, or their family, or community.

Or, because of their silence, a friend died, a family member lost their home, or was imprisoned, or killed.

Moral Injury.
and the fear of standing in your truth.
these traumas will outlast your body.
They will follow you.

Please, do your clearing, your healing, while you can.
Please, speak out for those who cannot.
boycott, divest, sanction.
Educate.
If you keep looking at the helpers, they are standing up for truth, for life, for humanity.
They are in the forefront, and in the background.
They are doing what they can,
We are doing what we can, to be a circle of humans.

Don’t look away.

In the first video, Mosab will read from his book, the poem that is the book title, and also “Palestine A-Z”.
This was almost 2 years ago, still occupation, but long before Gaza was obliterated and well over 30 thousand died, mostly women and children, from hospitals, homes, schools, and refugee camps.
Mosab was also imprisoned, and tortured, not long ago, but has managed to survive.

In this Youtube Video, you can hear Mosab (he comes in at 2:30, and starts to read his poem at 9:25.

The man who opens this video is Rafaat Alareer, an amazing and talented human being, writer, poet, professor, and activist.
Two of his books (Gaza Writes Back (2014); Gaza Unsilenced (2015).
He did not survive.
Here is his last poem…

If I must die,
you must live
to tell my story
to sell my things
to buy a piece of cloth
and some strings,
(make it white with a long tail)
so that a child, somewhere in Gaza
while looking heaven in the eye
awaiting his dad who left in a blaze–
and bid no one farewell
not even to his flesh
not even to himself–
sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up above
and thinks for a moment an angel is there
bringing back love
If I must die
let it bring hope
let it be a tale

Be well. Look for the helpers. Be one.
Happy Spring Equinox.
Helena

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Weaponized Ancestral Pain

12/31/2023

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Notice, when you sit with warriors, the conversation is different.

If you want to know or understand the genocide happening in Gaza, I ask you to
#1, STOP WATCHING FOX NEWS, and watch something of value, of respect, like Democracy Now.
#2, Check news sources from around the globe, not those who are paying for the hefty supply of arms, including White Phosphorous bombs.

Even TIC TOC has news with more truth, coming from all corners of our beautiful Gaia planet.
The sheer amount of protestors around the world, have given me so much hope, and fortitude.

Yeah, I am also getting frustrated, tired, and sad, at the light-workers who are only offering “love and Light”, or, “thoughts and prayers” at the genocidal murder, apartheid, and the most torturous and horrible crimes committed by the Zionist Israeli (not all Israeli are Zionist, or settlers in occupied Palestine. Many are fighting for peace).

I would love to help you find your courage.
I would love to help you find your voice.
I would love to help you find your backbone,
so you are not afraid to act.
I'm sure it is in there somewhere.
It could be that there is trauma in the way, either this life, a past one, or an ancestors pain.

Whether it is to call or write your congressmen, (or help with an organized protest in some manner) or organize your own,
Somewhere inside of you is courage to stand up to Nazi behavior, and not stand silent.

It is ok to truly feel the angry feelings, even rage, that is healthy, that is good. Acknowledge it, and let it go. Don't send it. You can transform it, and, it can transform you to act.

I have had 30-40 people message me on Facebook, to say. “thank you for standing up for us (my posts, or posting decent news, or ways to help), we feel as you do, this is sickening, this genocide”.
They cannot post or speak up, because,

“I have an Israeli friend, and I might hurt her feelings on how disgusted I am”
“I don’t want to be censured here on FB”
“I don’t want to stick out. None of my friends are standing up for what I believe in”
“As a healer, lightworker, or shamanic teacher, I want to be seen as a perfect specimen who does nothing but send love. I don’t really want to know what is going on. I can’t deal with it”.
“I don’t want to lose my job”, I think the American Gov't is watching Facebook posts.
“I can’t make a difference anyway”.
“I don’t want to upset my friends, and change how they view me”.

You are responsible for what you do, yes that is clear.
But also, you are responsible for what you don’t do.

I had a conversation with a shamanic friend earlier today. I was telling her how I use my shamanic skills to be of help, there in the bombed out hospital of Al Shifa, in Gaza.
She was saying how she can’t contribute, as it is all just energy, and so she sends love.
Yes, the energy workers are all praying, sending light, and love.
Wonderful, thank you.
Lifting up the vibration is vital.

But as a psychic, what I am seeing are a lot of people with their fingers in their ears, mumbling,
loveandlightloveandlightloveandlightIcan'tdealwiththis!

I said that I see it as taking a hike with friends, and a friend falls, perhaps, and lacerates his leg badly. We are a ways from help, and from wifi reception.
so we SHOW UP.
We press to stop the bleeding, and tourniquet.
We make a makeshift stretcher from what we have and what we can find.
We carry our friend back to the car and call for help when we can.
we hold his hand as he is put on the stretcher, and call his wife.
We take his dog back to his wife, and hug her.
do you understand that how you show up is incredibly important?
I am not even talking about countries that have selfish evil intent, and how you can show up for that.

Some are weaponizing ancestral pain, and using it, instead of going back to do some really deep healing, grieving, and being witnessed.

If you cannot be political because of your job, your right wing boyfriend, you fear of friends finding out that you do, etc, there are other ways
(Later, perhaps, take a real look at why you keep them as friends, as boyfriends, etc.)
Your form of help may be behind the scenes having conversations with people, helping fund, your technical skills, or offering a gift of
perhaps your patience, kindness,

How are you showing up for the world?
How are you showing up for yourself?

You can’t ignore how humanely essential is its to speak out to abuse, instead of cowering, or ignoring, or trying to forget by (fill in the blank with your own imbibement, or “check out” of choice).
Doing nothing, when you could have, or, doing harm, to innocent people for all the reasons above, or because someone told you,
will create something called,“moral injury”.

MORAL INJURY.

Many soldiers have this, when forced to inflict harm on innocent people, and they were just “following orders”.
You can also be a pacifist, and do nothing, because you don’t care about the karma of looking away and not watching the horrors of this genocide.
That can also have the effects of moral injury.
Think about it.
I hope that if I was ever being abused in these ways of genocide, and systematic abuse, that those I trust, my community would NOT look away, and throw “love and light” at me, when what I need is intercession.
“Thoughts and prayers”, when my legs have both been broken, and I need help in a working hospital, with electricity.
I have reached a point of disappointment in my shamanic community.
It looks like the psychic community are rolling up their sleeves, though.
They (we) have good tools, which I will explain in a moment.

It makes me sad that for many people who talk about the power of love, there is only apathy, wrapped in the thin blankets of “love and light!”.
If you are truly sincere, then we will feel you, and sense your incredible presence. You will not be afraid (again) of speaking truth, and of creating a powerful, healthy, and long lasting change.
I spend a couple of hours a day in “love and light” phase. It does really help. But do some concrete actions also..
You needn't exhaust yourself.
With good energy hygiene, your service can simply come from your overflow, of your energy cup. Make sure to stay filled, grounded, loved and well cared for.
And, you can care for those more on the front lines! They'll need it, and you can show up as an angel.

I am traveling, every night, astrally to Al Shifa hospital (what is left of it) in Gaza to help any and all, to await instructions, and just do that.
I help to psychopomp the dead, and try to do it in the cultural appropriate measures, of anointing, and calling their ancestors in.
I have all my shamanic tools, protections, and compassion with me. I am FOREVER grateful for those who show up, to be my comrades, to help as well, to be hollowbone.
I awake, after each night, as I usually do, refreshed, healed in a massive way, and remembering only snippets of my comrades, other Angels, a beautiful miracle that happened, and the powerful strength, that occurs, when you are in deep, but you know someone has your back.

I honor both the, “thoughts and prayers”, and the “love and light” people, as I know, that not everyone was built to be a warrior, to show up and be counted, to have so much courage. There is trauma in war, genocide and colonialization and its effects, and even the thoughts of it can be triggering for some.
I honor you where you are right now.

Some shamanic practitioners, especially teachers, though, have their fingers in their ears, and are just saying “sending love” to bypass the pain going on. Pain is hard, divided points of view, people are really charged up in this deadly horror.
I cannot change you, coerce you, but I do see you.
What you are doing is teaching your students.
I would prefer to ask them (my students) to help bail me out of jail for protesting, or speaking up.
I would prefer that. My students are awake, and do what they can.
We cry together.
then we do things.
and transfigure.
and Violet Flame.
I wish you many blessings on your day, and a delightful smelling gardenia, and a fresh slice of ripe peach, to delight you, as you wake up from your sleep.
I honor those who do what they can, and try to support.
and may you receive in return, tenfold, how you showed up, to help, to assist, to be counted.
and so it is, and it is happening now.
we are so blessed.

Wait!
There it is!!
There is your spine.
Hello!
we have been waiting for you.
What a gorgeous spine you are.
If you are with us, let’s go!

Go with God, the Goddess, or Source,
but go.

How do you want to show up for yourself?
How do you want to show up for the world?

Did your ancestors have trauma about speaking out? Or did they have amazing courage?
That they are both in you, and you have choices.

Not speaking up, not speaking out when it is vitally important is lazy, cowardice, can be complicit.
Please don’t stick your fingers in your ears, and repeat “love and light”.
It is worth the inner and shadow work in you, to address some very old traumas from war, or being visible, and showing up.
This is some deep, and heavy stuff.

Weaponized ancestral pain.

I do not believe that leveling Gaza and all its inhabitants (or expelling them from their own country with no "right of return" will control or stop Hammas. And, if you lived in an open air prison, with no rights in your own country for that many decades, an absolute hell, you would need a govt that means business.
I do not believe that war crimes against human life and civilians, and human rights abuses, to thousands of defenseless children, women, and hospitals, schools, refugee camps, etc, to try to destroy the threat of Hammas is acceptable in ANY country, in any place.
It is never excusable. But then again, every part of this systematic prison and genocide is not excusable.
I hope that there will be deep repercussions to the Israeli govt, land given back to the Palestinians stolen from them.
I hope that the colonist extremist settlers and their terrors and smash and grabs will be held accountable.
I am disgusted by my own country (as you can imagine), but I am extremely hopeful by the response from the entire planet.
The entire planet, including many Jewish people.
I have donated to Jewish Voice for Peace, to Middle East Children Alliance (MECA), Palestine Children's Relief Fund (PCRF), and donate toward prosthetics for the HUNDREDS of poor Palestinians targeted to have their knees exploded with bullets, to make a point, too create terror, humiliation, and hardships on the entire family.
I also donated (in the past) to help with warm clothes for the people stuck in homes without electricity (4 hours a day, at the Israeli discretion).
I don't make a lot of money, but I do what I can.
Because the Palestinians will be punished for displaying their flag, or even talking about what has happened to them, they need a voice from the outside.
I stopped counting how many journalists, and doctors (from all over)have been killed, so the stories about what is really happening don't get to the public.
Lastly (you did ask what I would do) is that I have been doing healing and shamanic work in Al Shifa hospital in Gaza (what is left of it). A morgue, with no electricity or water, and still many people afraid to leave because they will be shot.
I go nightly, and help the dead, the almost dead, the lost in grief and terror, or hold a hand, or help people find each other.

My spirit tools:

My cloak of invisibility, my spirit helpers, and my gaze of compassion.
I try to psychopomp (A Greek word, means "conductor of Souls") as best I can, as they did not have the proper ceremony, and died in extreme terror, pain and fear, or died very suddenly.
I am working with the well ancestors. They are amazing.
I recommend that.
I feel that the pain of the ancestors (the not well ones) are being played out continuously, and Israel could use some ancestral witnessing, and healing, to help this big mess.

That is why I said, "weaponized ancestral pain".

The not so well ancestors of the persecuted Jewish population, are just playing the movie out all over. No witness. No healing.
"They owe us".
"We are the real victims"

They have become the Nazis who killed and abused them, years ago.
When this gets healed and integrated, things will radically change,
even if the US is still flooding them with free killing weapons, like white phosphorus bombs, cluster bombs, and exploding body shattering bullets.

I think this is a huge undertaking. It is do-able, but, the powerful ones need to get their fingers out of their ears.
And the weak ones need to remember their power, their agency.

There are dead bodies in the basement of Al Shifa hospital, which is now a bombed out shell. Not water, or electricity.
The premature infants who died; the people had no choice but to leave them. The amount of light around them, those tiny bodies, was amazing.
I will never forget that.
I go there, and just do what the beings there need me to do... help two people meet each other, amuse the children for a bit, protect certain doorways.
I did this same job at the train stations in Ukraine. Small things, helping people find each other, keep their pets safe while they find them, in a chaotic frenzy of terrified people.
I guess that is one of my jobs. I also donate, and wear my "Viva Palestina" shirt in town and have many conversations with the people in my town. So many people are stressed about it all, and it changes the energy a bit to not feel so alone or powerless.

Maybe (if you cannot speak up, speak the truth, be outraged, and contact your reps/ protest, or support those who do, please check yourselves for trauma,
past life issues, perhaps where you were jailed, abused, killed, or your family was, for speaking up against atrocities.
What was a past life you were the victim of war?
What was the past life where you were the oppressor?
What was the past life where you were a child who lost their mother?
Or a mother who lost their child?

Respect yourselves, as moral injuriy comes in different forms, some in direct combat, and some in conscious indifference to war crimes against humanity, to defenseless men, women, and children.

While I can respect your decision to do nothing but stick your fingers in your ears and say “LOVE AND LIGHT”, or “THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS”, because you want to look good, or, you don’t want to offend your prospective shamanic or energy healing clients, or your present time students, please know that there is an energetic cost to that, one of them being “moral injury”. It lasts lifetimes, not just this genocide.
There is a cost, at the loss of your own respect.
And that is a priceless jewel.
I can say no more.

1,000 children have lost one or both limbs in these 11 weeks in Gaza.
And, that does not count the years of 2017-8, when IDF went Berserk on the men and young boys, with bullets designed to explode inside of people. They aimed at all the legs of the young men, rendering them a burden to their families, and incapable of working.
We tried to collect monies together for prosthestics.
I’m pretty sure Israel would not let them have them, to feel whole, to be ambulatory.
With the children, though, hospitals are non existent, and the plastic surgery required in the years these young children are growing, would also be non existent.
Traumatic amputations will need revisions, also, because they don’t have adequate care and services at the time of amputation.

Being a role model or in a position of leadership is also a responsibility; it’s how you show up.
And, teachers of such, let your students see you cry. Let them feel that pain. Work with the past life trauma, or stuck and past time belief systems they have, so they start to let go of that baggage and can also feel, and have choice to act in a responsible manner. It will help everyone now, and also years down the line.
Your offering to them, will be helping their descendants, and their own later lifetimes.

It goes without saying, that there are many atrocities on the planet right now, not just Palestine, and many rich and power filled countries who want it that way, and pay for it.
It may seem insurmountable, maddening, depressing.
It may bring up your own past life or ancestral trauma, and unresolved horrors.
But we are here to experience all, and to unravel this beast of a civilization, and somehow get a healing in the process.
Not all people are warriors, or front linesman.
But, like Clarissa Pinkola Estes has said so well in her poem, "We Were Made for These Times",

When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.

Here is that poem in it's entirety; it rings like a clear bell. She is amazing.
https://www.awakin.org/v2/read/view.php?tid=2195

Happy New Year all, no matter where you are in all of this. I know you will be healed on some level, by the end of it.
Please reach out to me, if there is some Past Life, or Ancestral trauma lingering in this life, in these times of war, that you wish help with, or even just a light shined on. We all need it, and it will help us greatly.
If you are a teacher, you may need it even more.

Blessings, on your new year, your new start.
We have a choice, and get a new chance to choose, every second, of every minute of every day, who we are, and how we want to show up.

spiritinjoy/helenamazzariello copyright 2023

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The Center of the Labyrinth is only Halfway There

9/28/2023

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The center of the labyrinth is only halfway there.
I am so grateful, for the sacred work I do, and I am also amazed at how spirit shows up to teach me what I need.
I’m sure this happens with you also; especially when you are in synch with spirit.
The clarity that happens when you are changed and “trued” from that balance of inner work, and outer work.

Trueing is a word that reminds me of a few things;

walking a labyrinth, going in, being in the center, and then, the walking out again.
a laser point from it’s start, to it’s trajectory.
The same when holding a quartz crystal and slightly squeezing opposite sides.

Balancing and centering a piece of hot glass, while cooling the pipe with water.

I was a ceramicist, and a glassblower for many years, and each involve keeping the item on center. Throwing on the wheel is a delightful way to stay focused, and centered, and so is turning a pipe loaded on one end with a hot glass bubble, or vase, etc.
Your entire body gets into the play, and you are at once extremely focused, and yet aware of your surroundings.
And yet calm, and receptive.

I also worked at a scientific glass company, where you would create something starting from a tube of glass (pyrex or quartz) and after inserting one end in the lathe, would “true” it, or, get it on center.
Staring at this slowly moving cylinder with one end flopping, you would calmly, but effectively use your fisted hand and “tap” it when it was at its highest point of the floppy end.
A couple of gentle taps at the high point, would get this glass tube on exact center, and then you would begin to use flame from below, and also hand held torches, to create, to build upon this slowly turning, exactly centered piece of glass tubing.

“But what does this have to do with spirituality, or growth as a spirit in a body?”
Well, for myself, I am being trued, and also annealed by my inner work, and also my outer work.
This whole year for me was one of intense inner growth.
I studied all about trauma, and somatic means to hold space for and adjust.
I’ve done a lot of shadow work (Carl Jung) and continue to do so.
I have learned through that about being a people pleaser, as a means of showing up in a world that had trauma, and unpredictable caretakers and family members.
I am working on other methods to speak my truth, and create wanted changes.
I have studied a good deal of IFS, working with parts inside oneself.
And of course, my work with clients on psychic readings, Medical Intuition, Shamanic Healing (Soul Retrieval, Curse Unravel, Compassionate Depossession).

Some of that massive learning has dismembered me, dissolved me, recreated me, annealed me, to be in present time, to be more in my power.
It has also helped see to be a better “hollow bone”, because in shamanic work, you step out of the way to allow your guides to do the healing work.
It has helped me to show up clear, for my clients, and for my students.
And the clients and students who have been showing up have been simply amazing. Just. Wow.
It’s hard to explain, and I do my best to defer to my guides to bring me the right ones
(those both in bodies, and also not in bodies).
This work is atmospheric, in that it shifts in present time, and that time and shift is sacred, and is felt in the body, and also by spirit.

What a wild ride this past year has been!

I know that this has been happening with other people, and that is why I’m writing about it now.

Perhaps it has been all these planets that have been in retrograde (like Venus, like Pluto) that made us go back, and do the inner work, so that the present time us is a better tool, can hold more light, can be more effective in our lives.
Isn’t it funny, that by acknowledging the dark, and doing shadow work on yourself, you can be better able to contain more light, and also have deeper compassion for all in the process, including for yourself.

I see you. I have been doing readings for you, and Shamanic work for you.
I can see the impact all your efforts have had.
It is simply amazing.
Thank you for trusting me.
Thank you for trusting my guides.

Labyrinths:
When you walk a labyrinth, and travess it’s many onionskin like layers, you release the old, you get more in tuned, you center, and then you may get an answer. You may be shown a direction, an inspiration.

It is also a “trueing”.
Being in the center, with source, is a healing.
To just be.
To have your healing, and hello from Source, there in the center.
However, it is not finished.
You are only halfway there!
You must now leave that safe space, and travess all the pathways back out again, with your new self, the one with the healing, the answer, the torch of magic.
How do you bring what you have gained to community? How do you bring your enlightenment, your healing, and be in the outside world?
Ah, that is part of the magic of the labyrinth.
And it is part of the magic of life.

I see this exact thing happen when a person gets a Soul Retrieval.
When a part of them comes back into the whole, it is so healing, and strengthening.
And it is like a “Trueing “.
I tell my clients of Soul Retrieval, that it (soul loss) is like having one wheel off the track in your life (and why you came here), and this healing will gently nudge you to get back on track.
And nudge it does!
Then, the rest is up to you.

Bringing the new you back into community is both simple, and perplexing.
Things are different, because you are.

Now, what was it that you came here to do?

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Pouring your Spirit back into that beautiful body of yours

6/21/2023

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Two great energetic tools for becoming whole, for becoming well.
One is the simple method of bringing in a “Golden Sun”, a ball of your own energy. I do this many times a day, and it is part of my psychic skills toolbox, for energetic vibrancy and health.
The other tool is a Soul Retrieval.
A Soul retrieval is usually done by a Shamanic Practitioner, who brings back Soul essence or parts, that left because of trauma, or illness. Shamans believe that all illness stems from Soul loss.
I’ve written a great deal on both, and the differences, and will offer links to more info at the end.
In either case, when you are not “fully there”, your body needs to adjust to the loss.
You are much more susceptible (to illness, injury, programming, and other peoples energy).
Sometimes it feels horrible, and sometimes relaxing, a place of no pain.
When I look at the word “unconscious energy, as a psychic, I see a grey, or white fluffy energy, that makes one spacey, numb, or wanting to fall asleep. It can be a pleasantly numb feeling, like getting buzzed on a big glass of wine, or a bit of a scare, like when you are driving, trying to be in your body , and to be present, clear, but you cannot. Like when you are trying to make a decision, but lose focus, or are confused. Or, just blank. Spacing out. Nothing.
Have you ever watched someone go unconscious? They just check out.
The body is basically on autopilot, but the spirit isn't there. Spirit could be busy, bilocating, being somewhere else. it can be in the past, or the future. It can be busy looking at, or avoiding, some past uncomfortable, or painful event, or memory.
It can also be that spirit checked out to enjoy some pleasant, or joyous memory or event! How nice to be blissed out, thinking about that ice cream cone, that new relationship, or the vacation you will be taking next week.
It can be dissociation, an escape from trauma.
Perhaps was a response to trauma from childhood.
Perhaps just a simple avoidance of pain, or unpleasantness.
Could be that it is a group agreement, as I have seen in students in a class, or a circle of friends sharing a joint.
Sometimes it is a lovely escape, simply being tired, so tired, that you take a little break, eyes glazing over.
We are humans. Spirits living in a body. We get to do that.
It is only when we do it too much that it can be a problem.
I like to think of us as being, let’s say 10 cups of water.
All of our spirits presence, and light.
We probably have 3 cups of ourselves not in our body at any given moment in time. Stuck in the past, lost in our homes, our belongings, trying to fix, change, or heal other people.

It can be Soul Loss, where that part of spirit essence left and cannot get back, and could use some assistance.
That is why people get a Soul Retrieval, by a shamanic practitioner.

On a simple level, its is just amazing where we leave our energy throughout the day!
Stuck in a dream, or creative project, or by resisting something (resistance takes energy, and can leave you depleted).

Your list of things to do.
Your daily commute.
Your friends problem they just told you.
Your bank account.
Avoiding some pain or perceived pain.
Leaving because someone energetically whacked you.
Leaving because you like to meander, while listening to music.
Leaving, because you are making some big, beautiful change, some step up as a spirit, and body is slow to catch up.
Leaving, because many people put their attention on you at one time, all of a sudden, and you had no protections up.
Not being grounded, because you haven’t eaten.
The list goes on and on.
If reading these examples has gotten you a little jolted, then I am doing my job right.

Learn these simple tools, to gently and lovingly call yourself back, and do it frequently.
I teach the basic Meditation/psychic skills class as a revolving class, and you’ll get this tool if you take the free Energy Hygiene workshop I offer regularly.
You can learn good protection tools, so that when you do decide to leave for a bit, your body feels safe.

You can get a Soul Retrieval from myself, or any practitioner listed on Sandra Ingerman’s website, on the Practitioner referral page. They have been trained and come highly skilled.
A Soul Retrieval will change your life, and get you back on track, if you feel that something is truly missing.
Here is a bit more information on both. One is a psychic tool for energetic health, and the other is a Shamanic healing method for the same.
Your body will love you for it.
I promise you.
Gentle blessings, and ducks in a row.

Here's a blog on Soul Retrieval:
Soul Retrieval and Integration

Here's a short meditation from Feona on Golden Suns...enjoy!

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It's the little things, done with spirit

3/20/2023

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I am so grateful for spring!
This past winter I have been working hard, and getting more things handled than I ever thought possible.
My breaks in between clients, etc, was to walk at the bay in Pinole, and pick up any garbage that I see.

Anywhere from one to 2 bags of old cans, bottles, various plastic items, big and small wash up with the tides. It has been a winter of intense storms, and more rain and wind than I have ever witnessed before in 13 years of living in Pinole. It’s usually pretty clean, but not this winter.
It’s quiet there, basically empty, and the glassy waters and beautiful stretch of vista is a welcome break from the work I do. It’s a disengaging, a place to either sing loudly, or cry, or allow my thoughts to play and create, or just be empty.

I usually ride my bike here, and bring home about a gallon container of small pebbles and sand and carry its back to my home, and down to the creek in my yard where there is a tiny “beach” in the middle of two streams that I make sure are clean and beautiful.

It makes it a sweet little beach to sit on and be in heaven!

And, every year, in the winter it will rain a lot, and the creek will be one big, loud moving brown river serpent, and wash it all away, including some of the stones that were there before!

What is funny is, that it doesn’t matter. It’s great exercise, the couple of miles each way to the bayfront park beach, that’s where my creek ends and pours into. I love gathering small stones and rocks, I love my little creek, and I am aware of the impermanence of everything, including me.
For those of you who know me, within less than a year, I have lost my mom, my sense of “home and family”, my partner of 20 years, even my beloved cat.

I have stayed in grief and let it alter me, anneal me, and made it a point to stay soft, stay loving, cry and sing through it all.
After almost 3 years, grief has grown in and through me. It never really leaves, we just grow to accommodate it. And that’s ok, it’s part of being human.
We get to experience the exquisiteness of love, loss, death, and of life, newness, and the cycle, with compassion, and, if we are lucky,
support, and a little humor thrown in. I think sometimes of the trees that have grown through fences, or into rocks, how the will to thrive can always find a way. It incorporates.

But back to the beach of the bay, and the little creek oasis. it has been raining still on this first day of spring, and is has since January. It will rain again tomorrow, I am told.
The creek is again a fast moving brown serpent who has taken all the pebbles and shells back to the source, the 2 miles to the bay, where I take my walks and clean up the beach.

It is such a sweet imitation of the cycles of life!

I don’t know how my cleaning up of 2 bags of other peoples washed up garbage will affect the earth in a big way, but I do it anyway, as a service to water, to my community.
I have done it 3 times a week for about 10 years or more.
that’s a lot of junk!

I used that time to heal myself on some level or another, even if it was some simple exercise, getting to sing or cry my heart open, cleaning up trash and seeing a clean beach, or a hello to a man fishing, or a woman walking her dogs. It's nice to see my community.

Spring has come today and will bring with it the life, beauty (and work) of the garden, and the joy that new life brings.
I think I have done my homework, and my growth, in these cold and wet winter months.

I’m sure that you have too.

Let this Equinox be a still place for you, a quiet place, where you can breathe, and notice all the small acts of kindness or of simple acts of senseless beauty that make up your world.
We already know all the hard work and the stress you have put into it, (your life, your career, your relationships, your personal growth), and it will pay off believe me.

I spent this winter studying trauma, doing shadow work, and just being with things, and my life, and my work got richer because of it.

Please think of these small things that you do everyday, just for beauty in your life, in the lives of others. Those small kindnesses, those everyday tasks of showing up for another, and for yourself.
I have been asking myself everyday, and my students and clients as well,
How are you showing up for the world?

How are you showing up for yourself?

And also,
How do you want to show up
for yourself?

for the world?

Happy Spring Equinox, in the northern hemisphere, that place of equal light and dark, of reality, and hope.

It’s the little things, done with care, and grace, and a little spirit.

Here's the Pinole creek in my yard, that I caretake, as I do the stretch of a little beach at the bay in my town.
I know the earth appreciates it, or the Fairies and elementals of the water. They leave me the sweetest gifts!

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Meeting Spirit for the first time~ the Lenape

11/15/2022

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I was probably 5 years old, when my family packed up our sandwiches and bug spray and swimsuits and went to Lake Hopatcong, NJ for a picnic day.
My Dad didn’t like the ocean (which we did), and all that sand that ended up in his car that he used as a realtor. I remember my bucket of tiny frogs dumping out in the back seat once. My brother and I tried to catch each one non chalantly, without my Dad or Mom in the front seats finding out.
There were 5 kids, and we all piled in to drive to a beautiful lake, that was named in the Lenape Indian language.
I remember a fountain in the front, with a small pool of water warmed from the sun, and I remember wading around in it and being in my bliss.
Warm sun, warm water, it still is.
I also remember that our picnic spot was at the very end of the trail of tables,, way at the end where the woods were the only thing past that.
It was beautiful, and felt really wonderful, and I liked that we were so tucked away.
We were near very big and very old trees, and the whole area was mottled sunlight on our spot where my dad grilled burgers and we hung out and enjoyed the whole experience, and explored.

I ended up playing with some of the toys I brought with me, I remember a set of small plastic cooking utensils, like pots and pans and plates. They were all different colors, and came in a long clear plastic sleeve. There was a whole set.
I was playing with them, and washing some of the tiny pans in the shallow part of the lake, just by the bank’s edge.
I couldn’t find one of the pans, and was fishing for it with my fingers in the water.
At that time my Mom was calling for me, “Cookie c’mon we’re going! Let’s go we’re all leaving now we’re all ready. Come now!”
I couldn’t find my little green plastic pan, and I started to panic. She kept calling me, and I kept looking, and I just finally started crying, having a little 5 year old meltdown!

Then, I looked up, and saw two figures, standing in the trail, where the picnic area ended, and the woods began.
There was a man, a grown man but very young, and his young son, about my age. They were Indian. They wore deerskin clothes, and both had long black hair, tied in long braids. They had feathers, on their clothes, and the man had a bow and arrows slung on his back.
They were just looking at me, and they both at the same time, cocked their heads at the same time, as if to say, “TTT, Awwww!” in the universal language of head cocking.
I felt a lot of love coming from these two people. they were very real, and yet invisible at the same time.
I saw every color so very clearly, and time stopped for a bit.
I didn’t even think about my family.

When I was snapped back into real time, I just left (without my green plastic toy) although I kept looking back, by the wooded area, to see if I could see them again.
We never went back to that beautiful lake for some reason, and my mom felt bad later, and bought me a new set of those plastic toy pots and pans, that all come together in that long plastic sleeve.
Life went on, but I never forgot that curious and mystifying event.

Since then I have grown up and moved to the other coast of the US, and live here as a healer and psychic.
But I feel so much love for the Lenape people,, and try to find out as much as I can about them, their culture, and spirituality, from what I can find. New Jersey had decimated the population early on, once the white man invaded, but my spider sense takes me to places where I can feel their presence, when I go back to visit family in NJ.
Sometimes what I sense or see is incredibly beautiful, peaceful, and whole, and other times, the scenes are horrible, torturous, murderous, as the white men moved in.
Although in the Quaker area of NJ and PA, there are these “safe places” for them. Hidden places, kind, helper people.
Sometimes I just see them, a flash of someone, as I drive past some trees and woods, which are becoming increasingly harder to find these days.
I have so many stories of places, events (both magical, and also ugly), and Indian beings I have seen, or been shown, and I always do healing work, and spirit release where I can there, and I always feel held by them in NJ.

It’s funny though, while that first psychic experience happened 50+ years ago, I was telling it to a friend the other day. He said, “Oh yah, it was probably the Indian spirit kid that took your little pan from the water. They felt bad”.
I just had to laugh, because it is probably true, and now adds another flavor to the memory.

I have so many more stories of my meetings with them (as spirit), because each time I would go to NJ, or visit nearby PA I would see more, or be shown something else, by the Lenape. I could write a book on my experiences, both magical, heartwarming, but also sad.
Perhaps another day.

I am both humbled, and grateful.

Here are a few links to informative sites on the Lenape peoples.

https://chaddsfordhistorical.wordpress.com/2016/07/28/lenni-lenape-dreams-the-art-of-healing-and-death-burial-practices/
https://collaborativehistory.gse.upenn.edu/stories/original-people-and-their-land-lenape-pre-history-18th-century
https://delawaretribe.org/wp-content/uploads/EARLY-IMAGES-OF-LENAPE-PEOPLE-2.pdf
https://millstonevalley.org/lenape.html
https://thelenapecenter.com
https://www.penn.museum/collections/videos/video/74

Below is a Lenape mask of "Mesingwe" the hunter spirit, who lived in the forest and helped them.
Here's a link on the story, and other rare and beautiful photos.
Blessings,
http://wakinguponturtleisland.blogspot.com/2006/09/mesingwe-hunter-spirit.html

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The dying woman, the baby goat, and being a helper

2/27/2022

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Today I was conversing with a friend, about her helping a neighbor who was a hoarder, and ill from RA, and was very mean and nasty to her neighbors. She had become toxic, alcoholic, but now was so sick that she needed help.
My friend was iffy about helping her, because of the history of grief that she had caused. but I had a similar experience with a neighbor when I lived in the Oakland hills.

My story, though, is really about "who are the helpers", and "who asks for help", and the circle of being of service to spirit.
We all are, in some way, and that world exists simultaneously to this one.
And we get help as well.

While living in the Oakland hills, a couple of decades ago, hanging out in my backyard:
At one point, I noticed my neighbor wasn't out on her back deck lately, where she would normally be drunk and saying mean stuff. I did see another woman, though out there, and she waved at me.
I found out it was her nurse. She said that she had been ill for some time, and was now in her home, in hospice.
She said that the woman loved to see the goats I had (mostly one, and she would have babies the spring. Her deck looked out over the fenced in area where the goats lived.
My goat had just had babies, and the nurse said the woman was excited about it.
So I asked if I could visit her for a minute.
I scooped up one of the newborn goats (so soft!) and headed to her house.
Let me remind you that this woman had been mean to me and the other roommates for a decade or more. I think after her husband died, she became sad, and angry and drunk and a little nuts.
But I brought the baby goat over and the nurse let me in the house, and to the hospital bed.
I don't know if she could really see anymore, but heard the nurse explain what was happening, and who I was.
I leaned into her and put the tiny hoof of the baby goat in her hand so she could feel it, and the softness of its fur.
She really couldn't talk, but she cried, and it was really beautiful.
I said goodbye and left.
The woman died a day or two later.
I knew that a lot of her resentment, anger, and despair drained out, and that a happier woman died and crossed over.
At that point, I had just dropped all the story, because she was dying. Because of the kind things the nurse said.
So, I think that I got a healing too, and could just let all that story go.
I guess the moral of the story is that people have trauma in their lives, and they twist and contort and become sick, and spew their sickness onto others, onto their houses, into their bones, and they do stupid things.
And, they have a soft heart inside there, somewhere, that got very hurt.
Or, the moral of the story is that baby goats legs are incredibly soft, and are quite healing!

At some point, and on some level, we are all interconnected; there is not separation.
We may contract our energies to that field but it is always there.
It is always here.
I was needed to show up, to help that woman melt off some of the denseness of her life. Grieving her husbands loss, drinking, and filled with fear and loathing of the outside world. And yet, there were these goat babies with their furry new legs, sweet and innocent, that she could see from her back porch.
It wan’t about me at all, but my forgiveness and being sacred witness was a part of her moving on.
And when I need help, people show up in the strangest and most graceful ways.
Either to show me something, or point me in a direction, to remind me of my strengths, my gifts, or the sacred magic in the world.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a spirit guide in a next life, or, in between.
How fun, and rewarding to help someone or keep them safe, and on their path.
But how excruciating, to witness their choices, and free will, when it goes in other directions. To stand back.
I imagine how fantastic the internet is for communications and instant delivery of it, and how it is similar in the spirit world.
In an almost comical way, I imagined it this morning, because I looked out my kitchen window while making my morning coffee, and there was this black rabbit near my house.
I mused as to its owner, maybe a sad child in the neighborhood.
imagining the prayers to the mighty ones, and somewhere there was a switchboard operator, delegating the prayer to a spirit guide for help.
“Yes there are prayers to Archangel Michael by the family, but there’s an accident on the freeway nearby, and he is needed there.
He can’t be chasing down a child’s pet. Let’s get the guardian angel on board, as well as the house elf and land fairies of the yard on the block that is a designated safe place for animals.
We’ll check back and see what Michael wants to do, and sign it off.”
“When is lunch break?”

The rabbit unfortunately died in the front yard, and I sang a song to it, and reminded it of her wonderful life and the good things. I realized when I posted it on Next Door that others had helped this bunny also. Thank you for your kindness.
Thank you for showing up.

How do you show up in the field?
What stories do you have to tell?
How does spirit place you in the right place at the right time to be of sacred service?
And, is it the dashing, important stuff (where you get to be hero, or show your talents and great wisdom), or is it the simple passing on of grace, of transformational light?
Do you work without telling others?
The invisible helper?

Sometimes I think that I have to have my own life together and be in a place of centered perfection for it to happen, to be part of the chain, but alas, that is usually not the case.
For some reason, helping small wild animals, and also spirits that got stuck or lost seems to be my task right now, as is nudging a persons spirit into center, into their own information and path. I do nothing but a slight nudge, at the right time, and the wheels get back on the track.

Not very glamorous, but very needed. That hello, or neutral acknowledgement has also saved me, enlightened me, and helped mold me into who I came here to be. I thank all of those angels in human form, and those without any form for that.
I can’t believe how people show up in my path to get a reading, or a shamanic session, or sometimes just a conversation at a coffee shop.

How did this meeting come about? Who set this up?

I do hope, as you go about your day, after you read this, that you remember to turn on your “available” beacon for those who need an angel. You can always turn it down, if you need to.

Sometimes, when it is you who needs the healing, or attunement, that is exactly what happens. Spirit sets you up to help someone else.

copyright@HelenaMazzariello/Spiritinjoy2022

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The Care and Feeding of your Shadow Self

2/10/2022

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Some of the most powerful forms of light work you can do for yourself is shadow work.
I know so many healers, psychics, shamans, and light workers. The most powerful, and effectual are those who are annealed by their experiences, by their successes and failures both. Their pain, and their light help others to allow their own fullness, their own realness. And by being in what is, healing happens.
I think we have all heard the phrase "spiritual bypassing", where one only looks at the light and love, and denies anything else. It gives power to what is repressed, and doesn't help anyone else. That's why I wanted to share some tips and explain a bit, because that space can be spring loaded at worst, and ineffectual at best.

Here are some simple ways to do acknowledge, be curious, own, understand, accept and transcend some of the darker parts of yourself.
We are made of both light and dark aspects, and refusing one and acknowledging one just adds fuel to the one resisted, and that fuel gives it more power.
Your shadow self is nothing to be afraid of, as it is a part of you.
It usually gets created in childhood.
We were born whole, and complete, but from various interactions with parents, or caretakers, we discern that certain parts of ourselves are not ok. They may say it to us, or, we may come to that conclusion on our own.
We believe that some parts are good, and some parts are bad. And we reject what we think is bad. We submerge it, but that only gives it more power. We repress what we think is bad, while we exaggerate what we think is good. We disown what we think (or was told) is bad.
And that part becomes the shadow, and it is unconscious. And it can "run" our lightworker program in an insidious manner.

The terms shadow, subconscious, and unconscious were brought by Carl Jung to the Western World, and his works on describing, understanding, and re integrating the shadow are priceless, and highly recommended. These are parts that are disowned, and that the ego fails to see.
They don't leave, but leave awareness, and live in the subconscious mind, where they grow in power.
They can and will affect everything you do, and comes out (to your conscious awareness) in the form of unconscious and limiting beliefs.

"Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior" ~ Carl Jung

It could be a sensitive boy told by his father to stop crying and "man up". He may stuff that part of himself and put up a wall of tough, which appeases his father, but the sensitive comes out in inappropriate times, or he may have trouble showing emotions when that is appropriate and healthy. He may have trouble in relationships, or have explosions of overemotional behavior.
It could be a young girl with a lot of boundless energy, and strong emotions who has a strong sense of self. Perhaps her anger is disowned, and told it was wrong or not ok to express. Perhaps she deduced that on her own.
If these are our main caretakers, we want to do what pleases them, and express more of what is validated.
Perhaps she represses her anger, but also her healthy, righteous anger. Her demure quality, and people pleasing gets her by, but she loses a lot of her power and life force.
When we repress because we are afraid of what other people will think of us, it starts to live in the realm of the subconscious.
We think conscious = light, and hidden = darkness. And we assume the darkness is bad.
There are talents, gifts, and a lot of power locked in to the shadow. It will help you to understand yourself, to make peace with yourself, and live a whole and balanced life. You are both.
And if we are healers, or caregivers, it makes us more equipped to hold space for another, in their wholeness.

We create a "split" when we dissociate. it can take over when we get triggered. We may not give it very much power, but it is powerful, and can cause a lot of grief, turn things upside down and disrupt many relationships.

Have you ever seen someone flip? Someone who's is normally cool and collected acts psychotic, overly dramatic, and rageful, because of some trigger?
Usually, if you become conscious of your parts, your shadow, and also your triggers, it can come up through you. If it stays unconscious, and stays charged up, disowned and potent, it may come at you, unexpected, in the form of a crisis, or another persons actions.
Yes, your disowned shadow parts can show itself in the form of another person.

That's one of the first ways to check yourself, and understand yourself a bit more.
How to spot the shadow in you:

Projections

Triggers

Patterns

Your shadow wants you to become aware of it, and to be accepted.
Just focusing on the light will not make it go away.
Understanding it (you), making peace with it, and integrating it into your life, including the gifts, talents and power that it holds.

It is simply to uncover what was hidden, and slowly healing those aspects of yourself.
Bringing back that power from the hidden depths.
It won't take years, but it is a commitment to your self, only you can do it, and it will help you to become whole.
It may bring up old childhood wounding as you do, but it will show you a whole other side of you. And bringing the hidden, disowned to light helps bring awareness, to something that is a part of you.

When you surrender to what "is" and so become fully present, the past ceases to have any power. You don't need it anymore. Presence is the key. The now is the key ~ Eckhart Tolle

Some ways that you can begin:
Review your childhood
Become aware of your shadow
Don't shame it
Use your triggers
observe without judgement
Make peace with your shadow, so you can find peace
It is the highest form of light work you can do.

Notice, be curious, be committed.

We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are. ~ Anais Nin

Meditations and shamanic journeying on this are exceptional in shadow work. Have dialogue, ask what gifts are there as well, in this shadow part. Take back your power.
Know that space of wholeness.
Lightworkers, your clients will thank you as well, for as you become more whole, you allow them that space too. Your world will shift, and the world outside of you will too.
Gentle blessings, my friend.
The Youtube video is good. If you like that, you'll also like Parts work, in IFS (internal Family Systems), by Richard Schwartz. I share his links on my newsletter, or find his talks on Youtube also. In his work, the parts of us we disown are called "Exiles". Here's more ... https://youtu.be/UNtussFaYC0
Here is to your wholeness! I see you!

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