Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?
Some boundaries are just not negotiable. When you have a clear
boundary that is being abused, violated, or at the very least taunted, leaned
on, challenged, notice what happens in your space. How do you feel about
yourself, your abilities, or your power? Do you blame the other, or yourself,
or both? Where in your life do you habitually allow your boundaries to be
broken? Are you compromising your values, or worth to attain something, or keep
a relationship? These can be huge arenas, but can also be small, irritating
situations in your life, and world.
There is a difference between being patient, or caring, or empathetic,
and being a doormat, or an out of control healer. Usually, in that case, there is an underlying picture, or motive, like needing everyone to like you, or not feeling good enough, or a sense of guilt (I owe them one). Maybe it is an ingrained childhood pattern.
Taking the time to go inward, and look at the issues, and release, resolve, or heal them really helps with clarity, and good boundaries.
Forgive yourself for all the time you wasted with flaky boundaries, and resentment, or fear, and start to move on.
By doing so, by owning your power and your self worth, speaking up, and creating healthy
boundaries, your self esteem will rise!
Truly loving yourself means having healthy boundaries, and these boundaries do change, and the agreements to them do too. You can start with the less important issues and work your way up, but remember to validate yourself for the new changes you will start to feel in your universe.
Usually, if you let the old pattern continue, the built up
resentment, and slow leak of self worth will end up hurting you (or an innocent
bystander!), and the relationship will become damaged. Maybe the other person was ignorant, or unconscious of it. It could be that the organization, or company just has it's policies, and it is you who has changed. Have you ever been on the receiving end of the
"No that doesn't work for me" conversation?
You can just start by doing. You can also start by being (the owning your crown, self worth validating, badass that you are!)
Remember:
The qualities of being there are the steps to getting there.
(which also means)
The steps to getting there are the qualities of being there.
Sometimes all it takes is a conversation, or an e-mail, stating
your issue, explaining it simply from your point of view, restating your set
point, and stating what works for you, and what doesn’t, with some clear
examples of what does. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. Own your
crown, stand firm. Creating from certainty means not compromising your
integrity, because you know you will attain it without doing so.
Will you lose a few friends, clients, and old, worn out agreements along the
way? Probably. Will the new agreements create a better, healthier life for you?
Yes. Definitely.
As you start to own your worth, the world opens up to you. Show
people how to treat you. Start now to become that person, with your self respect, and
integrity, one step at a time.
Spirit in Joy’s motto is “begin with yes”, which is empowering,
but so is “No, sorry, that doesn’t work for me”.
Let that be your mantra for a while, and see what starts coming up for you!
Come get a reading, an energetic tuneup or healing, by clicking on the STORE page (pay safely by PayPal), or take a class in Berkeley, or online.
Click here for the link for classes, fairs, and teleclasses. Thank you for your continued support, and for your own self growth, and spiritual light.
~ Let yourself shine! ~
Helena Mazzariello
boundary that is being abused, violated, or at the very least taunted, leaned
on, challenged, notice what happens in your space. How do you feel about
yourself, your abilities, or your power? Do you blame the other, or yourself,
or both? Where in your life do you habitually allow your boundaries to be
broken? Are you compromising your values, or worth to attain something, or keep
a relationship? These can be huge arenas, but can also be small, irritating
situations in your life, and world.
There is a difference between being patient, or caring, or empathetic,
and being a doormat, or an out of control healer. Usually, in that case, there is an underlying picture, or motive, like needing everyone to like you, or not feeling good enough, or a sense of guilt (I owe them one). Maybe it is an ingrained childhood pattern.
Taking the time to go inward, and look at the issues, and release, resolve, or heal them really helps with clarity, and good boundaries.
Forgive yourself for all the time you wasted with flaky boundaries, and resentment, or fear, and start to move on.
By doing so, by owning your power and your self worth, speaking up, and creating healthy
boundaries, your self esteem will rise!
Truly loving yourself means having healthy boundaries, and these boundaries do change, and the agreements to them do too. You can start with the less important issues and work your way up, but remember to validate yourself for the new changes you will start to feel in your universe.
Usually, if you let the old pattern continue, the built up
resentment, and slow leak of self worth will end up hurting you (or an innocent
bystander!), and the relationship will become damaged. Maybe the other person was ignorant, or unconscious of it. It could be that the organization, or company just has it's policies, and it is you who has changed. Have you ever been on the receiving end of the
"No that doesn't work for me" conversation?
You can just start by doing. You can also start by being (the owning your crown, self worth validating, badass that you are!)
Remember:
The qualities of being there are the steps to getting there.
(which also means)
The steps to getting there are the qualities of being there.
Sometimes all it takes is a conversation, or an e-mail, stating
your issue, explaining it simply from your point of view, restating your set
point, and stating what works for you, and what doesn’t, with some clear
examples of what does. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. Own your
crown, stand firm. Creating from certainty means not compromising your
integrity, because you know you will attain it without doing so.
Will you lose a few friends, clients, and old, worn out agreements along the
way? Probably. Will the new agreements create a better, healthier life for you?
Yes. Definitely.
As you start to own your worth, the world opens up to you. Show
people how to treat you. Start now to become that person, with your self respect, and
integrity, one step at a time.
Spirit in Joy’s motto is “begin with yes”, which is empowering,
but so is “No, sorry, that doesn’t work for me”.
Let that be your mantra for a while, and see what starts coming up for you!
Come get a reading, an energetic tuneup or healing, by clicking on the STORE page (pay safely by PayPal), or take a class in Berkeley, or online.
Click here for the link for classes, fairs, and teleclasses. Thank you for your continued support, and for your own self growth, and spiritual light.
~ Let yourself shine! ~
Helena Mazzariello
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